What Gets the Baby In...A Birth Story

"What gets the baby in, gets the baby out"

-Ina May Gaskin - founder of modern American midwifery

"...sexuality is a whole.  The same hormones are involved in the different episodes of sexual life such as intercourse, childbirth, and lactation....The final phase of each sexual event is always an 'ejection reflex': sperm ejection reflex, foetus ejection reflex, milk ejection reflex. 

-Michel Odent from The Farmer and the Obstetrician

I was awoken at around 2 am by a phone call from Kim (you can read her awesome rendition of giving birth here)  Expecting her second baby any day, I was waiting for her phone call.  

"I couldn't sleep so I had sex.  After we were done, my contractions started coming every five minutes.  I swear, I wasn't trying to bring on labor!"  Kim laughingly told me. I listened through a couple of contractions then told her to change positions, maybe try a shower and call me in half an hour to see if things slowed down, or picked up, or what.  I was thinking that things would peter out after her hormones calmed down.  Oh, how I love to be proven wrong.

My somewhat rule is that if the dad calls you during labor, it's go time.  About twenty minutes later, the phone rang.  Mike's Irish lilt turning serious told me that things were picking up and it looked like labor.  I could hear Kim moaning through a contraction in the background. Wonderful!  I told him to call the doula, and that I would get myself and my things together and head over.   

As  I was approaching the lights and wonder that is crossing the Bay Bridge in the wee hours, the doula called.  My other somewhat rule (because can birth really have rules?) is that if the doula calls, I better step on it.  Britt informed me that Kim was indeed active and that they just wanted to make sure that I was on my way.  Yes, I was, ten minutes I said.  I went as fast as feels safe over a bridge and through city streets.  

It was a lovely night to be born, a chill, crisp March evening.  Entering Kim's birth space was truly magical.  Kim is an artist. She makes each and every thing she does an act of beauty, creation, and meaning.  From our first visit her birth space and how it looked was of utmost importance to her and her husband.  She came through.  The tub had been moved into their living space. Candles, with inspiring collages and quotes from Kim's myriad friends, filled the room with love and light.  Music, which I never would have pegged as birth music, but suited the moment perfectly livened the mood.  Kim was on the bed hands and knees.  I threw my things down to say hello and have a quick listen.  As soon as I did that Kim let out a deep, sonorous yet guttural sound signalling that the power of birth was moving through her. My midwife ears heard it and I peeked at her perineum, indeed it was bulging with a soul determined to take it's place in the family, and soon!  

Kim made it clear that she wanted in the tub.  She was so relaxed and in control, yet totally surrendered. She had a vision of her birth, and she was going to make it happen if at all possible.  We moved her into the tub with the head sooo low! It was the perfect ending to a whirlwind labor.  The contractions slowed a wee bit, just in time to wake big sister.  Kim moved to hands and knees in the water.  With a couple of pushes, her son's head was out, witnessed by all in attendance, including her two year old pajama footed daughter.  I reached down to help with the body and sweep him through to mama's waiting arms.

And just like that, it was done, a circle of love completed.  Truly Kim's birth was an illustration that birth is not separate from sexuality, that it draws from it, and intimately relies on it.   It was an honor to see, and a privilege to so clearly observe a truth about women's bodies and their hormones, we are indeed vessels of love. 

Reflections of a Midwife in Ramadan

"And comparing the expanse of the world into which a man enters on death is like comparing the spaciousness of the world to the womb; only it is wider and greater"
-Al-Ghazili in The Book of Patience and Thankfulness

It's always a blessing to witness a birth, but as with everything in Ramadan, this blessing becomes manifold. This has been the year of precious Ramadan babies. They've all come with ease and grace, and many lessons to teach their midwife. In the quote above al-Ghazali says that this birth is a simile for the birth we will experience when pulled from our graves. A mother is earth, her flesh a portal transformed for another life. In tears, sweat, and joy she surrenders to life's calling and purpose; a new soul to traverse the earth.

It is an impossible thing birth. Even as I watch mothers over and over again, I am always amazed that this is how human life begins. The act of birth is a great sign from God. What we would logically call impossible, in each moment of labor becomes more and more possible. At first we see a quarter size of the head, with each contraction we see more, but then it too disappears back into the womb. This is the two-steps-forward-one-step-back dance of the second stage. Allah's power manifests itself clearly now as each witness is silently contemplating the possibility of a human emerging from such a small space. Even the mother needs a 'you can do it' at this point. Once we've given up, only then do we move forward.

Soon the prince or princess is crowning, emerging from one consciousness to the next. The attendants watch in wonder as the miracle that is about to occur pauses. With the next contraction the head spirals into Earth's pull. A graceful exhale is warranted. The mother is in awe. The midwife is honored to be of the first to lay hands on the world's newest member. It must be done with intention and clear spirit, for these new beings are impressionable. The shoulders and body emerge and a slippery body is placed on a heaving mothers chest.

The midwife can sit back now and watch from the corner. The room is still and seems to be full of angels, at least two more have just been called to duty. It took so long, yet went so fast. What we were once anticipating for months and months is now here in a matter of moments. The eyes of a child just born reveal all we need to know, aware, watchful, and knowing. As he takes in his surroundings, I wonder how we will take in our surroundings at the next phase of life. Will it be as astonishing and grand? Will there be joy or grief? What I now cannot fathom, a grave, bones, and a resurrection, will it all seem so obvious after the fact? Will I know who I am and will there be familiar souls to accompany me?

I'm not certain and apprehensive of the answers to these questions. But I do know that my perch in the birthing room again and again increases my certainty that creation is continually happening, and as uncertain as a new life after the grave may seem, each birth brings me closer to the fact that for the Creator, it is possible. It is just as possible as young mother stepping into a birth tub by herself, and emerging from it with another life. We dry them off and tuck them into bed. An ordinary miracle on a sunny Ramadan day.

Hakima Midwifery is Expanding Services!!

I'm so excited to announce that I am now offering two new services at Hakima Midwifery. In July I took a grueling exam, passed, and am now officially an IBCLC, or an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant!! I am so excited to be working with moms and babes to help cement their breastfeeding relationship. I do in home lactation consultations as well as Skype visits. Skype visits are great for women overseas, or in areas where lactation consultations are not available. They are also great for follow up visits. Here is more information about the visits.

After having my second water birth, I am an even bigger water birth aficionado. So much so, that I have decided to rent out birth tubs. And not just any birth tubs, eco birth tubs! They are the same tub I delivered my little girl in, and they are just so amazing. There is no harmful plastics, no off gassing, and the sides are so firm, offering the laboring mama wonderful support. Here is the link with tons more information.

Thanks all for your support. Please contact me with any questions and spread the good word!

Another Homebirth Video

The Homebirth of Lucia Mae from Sara Janssen on Vimeo.

This video has some darling , colorful pictures. I love the portrayal of the daughter's role in her sister's birth. It is also a testimony to the family's affection for their midwife, she's like a part of the family! To read more on the lasting impression a midwife makes through a woman's lifetime (i.e. beyond the childbearing years), check this out, Midwifery Care: Reflections of Midwifery Clients. Be sure to download the full text.

Home Birth Videos

I bring you two home birth videos. The first is a first time couple, birthing at home on their Oregon farm. It is a mini-documentary and one of the most modest home birth films I have seen, yet very real and moving. The second is from a documentary I have blogged about before, The Doula Film. It is a second time mom birthing at home in the UK. She is incredibly calm and composed throughout the birth, particularly whilst pushing. Enjoy.

I hope to post on Ramadan for pregnant and nursing moms in the next day or two. Ramadan begins here tomorrow so we are making goodies and preparing today. There is a sister conducting a study on whether or not fasting in Ramadan while nursing impacts baby weight gain, and/or milk supply. She is hoping to get more participants. If you are interested please email her at RamadanNursingStudy@gmail.com - until then enjoy the videos and Ramadan Kareem!!

Home Birth on the Rise

on Flickr - by christyscherrer

Using birth certificate data from around the United States during 1990-2006, the CDC has just released a report on Trends in Out of Hospital Birth. It is a promising report detailing the uptake in out of hospital births in 2005 and sustained in 2006. Here are a few interesting and encouraging findings:

• Home births were less likely than hospital births to be preterm, low birth weight, or multiple deliveries.
• An increase in out of hospital birth also took place in Canada in the years studied.
• Women who are non-Hispanic white, over 25, and married, were more likely to have an out of hospital birth.
• Women born outside of the US were less likely to have an out of hospital birth than those born in the US.
• In 2006 64.7% of the out of hospital birth were home births and 28% took place in freestanding birth centers.
• 61% of home births were delivered by midwives - 16% by Certified Nurse Midwives and 45% by other midwives (which would most likely be Certified Professional Midwives, although the report doesn't specifically state their titles)

I hope this upward trend in out of hospital birth continues. For healthy moms and babes, there is nothing more joyful and empowering than welcoming your baby into this world, in the comfort and serenity of one's own home. For more information on midwives in your area, check out the Midwives Alliance of North America website, where you can search for a qualified midwife in your area and learn more about the Certified Professional Midwife educational process. Happy birthing to you all!!

Fatimah Elaine

If you noticed that I haven't posted lately, look above for the best excuse ever! Welcome to my baby girl Fatimah Elaine, named after her two great grandmothers. Here are her stats:

• Gestated one full month longer than her big brother.
• First contraction to last push was two hours.
• Born in the water in our bedroom with one amazing midwife and her wonderful student..
• Birthed in four pushes.
• 14" head (!)
• 7'13"
• 21" long
• Loved and adored by many.

Thanks for all of your support. Posting will be light for awhile. If you are a midwifery client, I am taking clients with due dates of September and beyond. Thanks again. Keep us in your prayers and good thoughts!!!

Interview -Maha al-Musa Creator of Belly Dance Birth

Maha al-Musa is author, mother of three, doula and creator of Belly Dance Birth. She has released a DVD entitled, "Dance of the Womb - Belly Dance for Pregnancy and Birth". I love this DVD. It is soothing, encouraging, and a wonderful exercise during pregnancy and as a preparation for childbirth. I wanted to ask Maha more about how she developed this method, her experiences as an Arab women reconnecting with her roots, and of course, her births! The interview is below. You can watch a trailer of the DVD here and visit her website here.

1) Can you tell us a little bit about your background? How did you become interested in belly dancing as an art form?

Thank you Shannon – lovely to connect with you - My background is that I am of Palestinian/Moslem (father) and Lebanese/Christian (mother) origin, raised in Australia from two years of age! East meets West! I have always listened to Arabic music, including my father’s soulful singing voice, and danced as a child but it wasn’t until I went to visit my father’s exiled Palestinian family in Jordan at 21 years of age that I connected to belly dance as a powerful, spirited, fun and explorative dance art form…art in terms of expressing one’s longings, emotions, moods and essence through the bellydance..I was so fortunate to be invited into many different women’s space’s that exuded the same passion and genuine love of the feminine sisterly connection – I loved it and was hooked!

2) How did you start to make the connection between belly dancing and birth?

When I was 30 weeks pregnant with my first son Kailash over 13 years ago, I came to a very progressive and exceptionally beautiful town in Australia called Byron Bay that supported natural, home waterbirths and independent midwives…here I actually joined a pre natal belly dance class with an amazing midwife Ann (who was also a belly dancer!) … her class triggered deep memories of my Arab ancestry and experience from Jordan. I saw a very simple and natural connection to birthing through the belly dance movements which mimic the instinctive rhythms of the female body….in pregnancy the beauty of the changing shape and body of a woman is reflected in the tempo, tone and rhythm of this Arabic dance. In labour I took with me these empowering movements that encouraged a welcoming of contractions through a holistic focus on the dance, one’s body and breath, and a beautiful alignment and connection to baby during the birth process…I felt that I had all I needed to be autonomous and strong in my own resource: my birthing body and I was able to surrender without fear as my cervix dilated and I softened body, mind and Spirit thru the dance. When Kailash turned 6 months old I took over the class from Ann and I would take him with me dancing with him on my hip swirling and circling around the room full of beautiful mothers…I developed the work over the next 13 years until today and I never stop being inspired and sharing the knowledge with so many other women to give them faith, hope and strength in the normality of birthing...it is a great passion and love of mine…!

3) Can you speak about some of the traditional ways in which Arab women birthed and how the incorporated movement in their birthing?

I can speak about some traditional birth stories I know from my own Palestinian grandmother who birthed 9 babies at home and from an Egyptian friend of mine whose mother had 6 babies at home in rural Egypt, as well as an American dancer and belly dance teacher Morocco who witnessed the birth dance in a village in Morocco in the 1960’s – In regards to my grandmother - we had a traditional family birthing house where women of the family went to birth in the village of Al Qubab - Palestine… To this special house my grandma was taken on a horse and cart by my grandfather, whilst she was in labour with all her children by her side..there a midwife would meet her and assist in the birthing…the understanding was that a woman could move about in labour however she wished and in fact she was positively encouraged to move and be in upright positions..this is also depicted in many statues, drawings and images of ancient Near East women’s studies….before the advent of hospitals and medical interventions women of the east and I would assume in many traditional cultures supported one another whether it be by midwife, relatives or other village women…The contemporary observation of a birth in a village in Morocco by the wonderful belly dancer Morocco from New York was one in which she witnessed the supportive circle of women dancing, chanting, ululating around a very relaxed labouring mother..it is a beautiful tale of sisterly support and celebration of natural birthing..

4) One of the things I love about your work is that it portrays Arab women, not only in a positive light, but also as very powerful. This has always been my experience of Muslim women, but Arab women in particular. How do you see this work in terms of changing some of the stereotypes people may hold about Arab and Muslim women?

Thank you Shannon – this subject is extremely important to me…I am very very passionate about sharing POSITIVE aspects of Arab women’s culture..the awakening I had in Jordan was a real eye opener because before embarking on this trip I had a pre conceived idea about Arab and Moslem women and families expecting to witness Arab women as subservient, uneducated, walking 10 paces behind a man and generally down trodden! Nothing could have been further from the truth in my experience (and I am not denying that there are negative things that do also happen) but what we tend to see is media that constantly portrays Muslims and people of Middle Eastern origin as somewhat primitive, unapproachable and when not romanticized plain odd! Being Palestinian I have had many a surprised comments from people when they meet me amazed that I am a very nice and normal person not the assumed terrorist or fighting kind! Often it is those whom have never met a Palestinian or Arab person who have in their mind a detailed analysis, usually a one dimensional stereotype, that isn’t always favorable to the truth of what is…I love that the fact that in the birth climate (which has a political edge – human rights for baby, mother and society!) and my work there is a similar running theme of needing to stand up, be heard, to have the “truth” spoken and to be honored and acknowledged!

5) In your DVD you show the home birth of your daughter at 46, no small feat! It is very clear by watching it that the pelvic movements of belly dance births allowed you some release and relaxation, what was it like for you as a laboring woman to have this tool of belly dancing to cope with the contractions?

I have to say that I truly believe that having had the experience, knowledge and support of my cultural roots and this bellydancebirth® work enabled me to birth with a fearlessness and strength that was undeniable…..it was such a great gift to birth at home again at 46 years of age…….the bellydancebirth® techniques definitely helped to put me into a focused, soft, surrendered and relaxed state..a very good dear friend of mine, who also assists at homebirth, said to me there is no reason why older women cannot birth naturally….the main thing is they must release the neo cortex (thinking brain) and focus in on the primal brain, letting go of thoughts, analysis, what if’s etc in birthing – I have to say I AGREE!!...as we get older we do tend to think too much and not allow spontaneity and that comme ci comme ca attitude to prevail!! As an older woman birthing if you can allow the thinky brain to go on holiday and LET GO of “mind” chatter you will birth with greater surrender….the bellydancebirth® movements can powerfully bring you into this meditative, hypnotic state very easily…..its a great tool and focus in first stage labour….Not to say I didn’t have moments of “thinking” but I was able, through my experience of meditation and softening in the bellydancebirth® techniques to let them go more easily…and accept the sensations and contractions of my labour with a sense of birthing purpose rather than tension and tightness….

6) How have you seen belly dancing help pregnant and laboring women? Are there any specific labor patterns or pregnancy complaints that belly dancing might address?

There are many areas where bellydancebirth® techniques are very helpful for a pregnant and labouring woman…..the main areas that I emphasize are around the philosophy that birth is baby and woman centered…giving a central premise upon which the movements and philosophy of my techniques must stem….so firstly the psychological knowing that women are capable, strong, and their bodies are perfectly designed to birth is but a beginning point…we cannot hope to empower women when their main belief is that the answers lie outside of themselves….We have lost birth to the experts – the idea that the “other” is more knowledgeable than “I”…women must also work hard now to get back their sense of I CAN DO THIS identity…to have positive birth possibility is our main hope for the future……Then of course there are the physical realities of pregnancy and labour…For example, lower back pain a very common complaint which belly dance is very good at releasing through the sacrum and circling and rolling the pelvis with bended knees…..Also posterior presentations are more common today and are generally caused from too much reclining so we need women to exercise in upright positions with pelvis at its widest point and in labour to get women up with gravity and leaning forward to allow greater pelvic room with circular rotations ..this really helps with optimal foetal positioning……Bellydancebirth® techniques can help in so many ways – physical, mental and emotional….

7) Thank you so much for preserving this legacy of women centered birth. Is there anything else you would like to add or leave us with?

I am so happy to see after 13 years of work that belly dance for birth is really starting to take off around the world..I think women are looking for natural ways to empower themselves in birthing and in ways that truly work and support her instinctual knowing…I also know that birth is a mysterious process sometimes way out of our hands as well….there are no certainties so we must approach all our preparations with an open heart and mind ready for whatever experience we will have…..still to be BEST prepared, knowledgeable, have informed choice and with a sense of feeling safe wherever we birth (and that is personal) must be respected for all women…..I say “less can be more” on this journey…I am also happy to say that I am in the process of putting together my one day intensive workshop for birth professionals in theFundamentals Of Bellydance For Birth – The Al Musa Method®, which I have had many requests for and which I hope to take all over the world. My book and DVD Dance Of The Womb, are two wonderful resources as a starting point for women to have some understanding of this beautiful birthing modality.

Thank you Shannon for taking the time with me…much appreciated!

Birth Story - Muhammad Idris Cong Tu

Our first birth story comes from a dear friend. It's an excellent story. I like how she clearly experiences the sensations of the contractions and really opens herself up to them. Not to say that contractions don't hurt, but resisting them only increases the pain. This story is a good example of surrendering to the contractions as they are. You can read more about her here. Stay tuned for an upcoming interview about her work entitled, "Sunna of Birth. Enjoy!

Peace & Blessings,

I was blessed to have a beautiful home/water birth on September 18, 2009.

This was a very special day for my family because it was the last Friday in our holy month, Ramadaan, and just two days before our day of celebration, Eid ul-Fitr. The last 10 days of Ramadaan are very sacred for us and Fridays are also special because they are the holy day of the week when we attend the Mosque and pray with our community. My friend Shoshanna baked Challah bread for us on that day also, on the day of my daughter's birth in 2007 she brought me fresh squeezed grapefruit juice while I was in labor, and on our son's birthday she brought us the special bread and shared that it was also the Jewish holiday, Rosh Hoshanna, which is the day of the "Birth of the World" and the bread symbolized the world. Praise our Creator, what a blessed and perfect day to give birth and to be born!

On Thursday evening a bit of my mucous plug released when I used the restroom. I texted Racha & Maura to give them a heads up...and than my Husband, Daughter, and I went on a short evening walk. I didn't necessarily expect too much, as I've learned as a Doula and Midwife Apprentice never to expect anything in birth, except the unexpected. When we returned I took a shower, relaxed, and put my daughter down to sleep. Because it was Ramadaan, and my husband was fasting during the days, he had a lot of energy at night, and we used this time to bond and do extra praying and reading of our spiritual text, the Qu'ran. That night we were up at 4am when I began feeling contractions. I joined my husband for the pre-fast meal and we waited until 5:30 to pray the dawn prayer. I was anxious to get some rest realizing that my contractions were only going to get stronger, especially because in the one-and-a-half hour I was up I had at least 5 to 7 strong contractions.

When we finally went to bed after 5:30am, I lay down, only to realize within 30minutes that I wouldn't be able to sleep because the contractions were already pretty strong. Between 6am and 8am I labored alone in our family room so I wouldn't wake my husband and toddler. By 8am I realized I should call Racha and let her know that my labor was pretty intense already. As a Doula & Midwife Apprentice I never wanted to call my midwives in the middle of the night, which is usually how we are called, I guess its a little courtesy, but by 8am I couldn't really wait any longer! I'm glad I called Racha because she suggested I wake up my husband and have him set up the birthtub. I really wanted to let him sleep until 10am because I knew once he woke we would be in full labor mode, good thing I listened to Racha, because by 10:12 am our baby boy was already born!

When I woke up my husband, my daughter also woke up, and when I told her the baby was coming she replied grumpily, "Don't come out baby, stay in there!," because she still wanted to sleep. Daoud went straight to work setting up the tub in the corner of our kitchen, it was really beautiful because we have some nice house plants and spiritual art in that corner of the kitchen, he also made a tent by staple-gunning some pretty sheets into the ceiling around the tent creating walls and a little room for me. I decided he was the best husband in the world and I tried to tell him, but was having a contraction and told him to "Go away, please," instead! During the hour or so it took my husband to set up my sacred birth space my contractions became very intense, lasting a minute-and-half to two minutes and coming on at least every 2-3 minutes. I labored on my hands and knees feeling a sharp opening of the last bit of dilating of my cervix and shaking with contractions, as Sumaiya, my two year old, played "horsey" on my back...

By 9:30am I managed to text Maura and Racha, "I think you should come soon", and I made my way to the tub getting in to the hot water. Daoud put on a recording of Surah Maryam, the chapter in the Qu'ran where Maryam gives birth to the Prophet Isa (Jesus). Its a beautiful Surah, my favorite in the Qu'ran, and I listen to it and read it often during my pregnancies because of the blessings it holds especially for Mothers and babies. As I relaxed in the tub, letting my body go to the support of the water as the last few contractions made powerful waves through me.

Racha and Maura arrived by 9:48am, and during the time my husband went to the front of our building to open the door and return with them, I followed my body in its urges to bear down with my contractions. When they came into our home I was already beginning to push. They came into my birth tent quietly, bringing some green water for me to sip on. I couldn't believe I was already pushing and didn't feel like I was ready since everything happened so fast! Racha had to help me get my underwear off because the baby was coming down pretty fast once the midwives got there and I felt I was just gonna go for it. With the next push Racha said she could see the head, it felt very close and I somehow communicated that she should let Daoud know that the baby would be here any minute. Daoud and Sumaiya came in, and Sumaiya really wanted to get in the tub with me when she saw that the baby was already coming out, she stripped off her clothes, but Daoud managed to keep her out of the water! With the next push the baby was crowning, Racha asked Daoud if he wanted to catch, and even though he did, I said no, because I wanted to catch him because I felt very relaxed and focused and in a really connected rhythm with the baby. I always feel that a mother should be able to be the first to receive her child when possible, to welcome her baby with her own hands! Within two contractions the baby crowned and his head was out, still in the water-bag, which midwives call being born in the Caul, and many say it is a very sacred event. I had to gather myself and blow because the energy and pressure was so strong and I didn't want to do it all at once. I grounded myself and gathered energy for the next contraction, blowing and breathing because I knew he would be fully into the world with the next contraction and push. I could feel his body fully rotate within me and followed the contraction and his bodies movement to push him out and kinda ride the last wave.

Our little Muhammad, named after our Prophet (Peace & Blessings be upon Him), was born at 10:12am, just 6 hours after I felt the first contractions of active labor. Most importantly, I thank Allah for the blessed gift of our new son, Muhammad, AllahuAkbar! AllahuAkbar! AllahuAkbar!