Ramdan - Fasting with Child (ren)

This is a re-post from last year's Ramadan. The information is still the same and insha'Allah of benefit to some of you. Thank so much for all of your well wishes. Ya Sin and I are enjoying our lie-in. I hope to return to this space more regularly soon!  An early Ramadan Mubarak to all of you. Please keep us in your du'as. 

Ramadan's many lights and gifts will be here in a matter of weeks. One of the questions I am often asked by pregnant and nursing women is whether or not they should fast in Ramadan. This post is not meant to encourage or discourage women from fasting, rather it is to provide information that can help mothers stay healthy if they decide to undertake even a few days of fasting.

Many women say that they would rather fast when everyone else is fasting instead of making their fasts up later. If you are one of those women, I hope this can help prepare you physically for the fast of Ramadan. Studies conducted about pregnant women fasting in Ramadan have found no adverse outcomes in the baby's birth weights, length, and head circumference. The fast of Ramadan also has not been found to adversely effect milk supply in lactating women, although it can alter the content of breast milk, but without affecting infant growth.

Pregnancy can be a challenging time to fast depending on when the fast falls in your gestation. Nina Planck, a real food expert and author, has written a wonderful book called Real Food for Mothers and Babies that breaks up pregnancy's nutritional needs by trimester. Planck says that in the first trimester, when the organs of your baby are developing, your embryo needs minerals to become a strong fetus. The bones and muscles are doing most of the growing in the second trimester, so your baby needs calcium and protein rich foods. In the third trimester, the eyes, brain, and nervous system are rapidly developing; fats high in Omega 3's will aid this growth.

If we base our Ramadan diet on Planck's demarcations, what are the best foods to nourish you and baby in each trimester? Fasting in Ramadan offers us only a few exchanges with food, so we need to make each of these encounters nutrient dense and filled with what our growing babes need. You will notice a theme throughout my recommendations and that is good fats and protein. Good fats include, coconut oils, olive oils, fish oils, butter, and tallow. Your baby's development needs cholesterol. You need good fats and protein to support this. This duo also supports mother's in their health and well being through pregnancy, therefore you will see multiple mentions of healthy fats and proteins.

In the first trimester many women often need to eat constantly to keep nausea at bay. Others do better with no food. Either way, your baby has to grow. If you choose to fast during this time, I really like a few foods to help you out. Much of nausea comes from hunger. When you eat, eat foods filled with protein and good, healthy fats. For the suhoor, the morning meal before dawn, try any of the following:

• Smoothies with egg yolks, coconut oil, milk, and yogurt and lots of fresh fruit. The fruit will give you plenty of the micro-nutrients which your baby's organs need and the yolks, oils, and yogurt will give you good fats and proteins for fuel throughout the fast.
• Eggs are a great suhoor meal for pregnant women. Make an omelette with lots of vegetables -- again this will give you a mix of micro-nutrients and protein.
• Oatmeal with lots of butter, cream, milk, or coconut milk. Add nuts and fruits for a complete suhoor.
• I do recommend eating at least three times a day in Ramadan, the suhoor meal, an iftar meal, and then again about an hour before going to bed. This still provides the same caloric intake, albeit not at the regular times you usually eat.

The first trimester is a big adjustment. Take it easy and don't push yourself to exhaustion. Read my post on the first trimester, where you will find many tips that you can do while fasting. I personally think essential oils, like lavender, ginger, and geranium go a long way in helping with nausea, fasting or not. Also, fresh air can alleviate nausea for many women. Get out and go for a walk right before you break the fast.

When Ramadan falls in the second trimester, it is perhaps the easiest time for you to fast while pregnant; the nausea has mostly passed, and you have regained some of your energy but don't yet feel uncomfortable from the weight of your baby. Here are some general tips for fasting and breaking your fast in the second trimester.

• If you can, try to switch your nights and days. During the day, stay inactive and rest as much as you can. If you need to do anything active, like clean or cook, wait until shortly before the sun sets so that you can eat and drink soon after.
• Try fasting every other day.
• Do gentle exercises like yoga, tai chi, or walking shortly before the sun sets.
• Don't skimp out on sleep! This is hard in Ramadan, especially during the summer months, but try your best not to exhaust yourself.
• Because protein and calcium are important this trimester, be sure to include lots of protein rich foods in your meals. Meats, broths, eggs, and lentils are wonderful and healthy choices.
• Calcium rich snacks can be eaten between iftar and bedtime. Almonds, warmed milk with cinnamon, ginger and a pinch of sugar, yogurt with fruit.
• Dates, the traditional food to break the fast with, are an excellent way of revitalizing the body after a day of fasting. High in potassium, iron, anti-oxidants, and other minerals, they are also perfect as a second trimester treat.

The third trimester is perhaps the trickiest time to fast. There have been studies that have found that fasting in late pregnancy causes a state of 'accelerated starvation.' We should know that our bodies are working hard during this time; the baby's nervous system is developing connections between neurons, its brain folds are forming rapidly, and its gaining more and more motor control each day. All this while it is packing on half a pound every week. All of this requires an enormous amount of caloric input, so it makes sense that this trimester would be a difficult time to abstain from food. Also, labor could begin at any moment in this trimester. Beginning labor with a caloric deficit is adding an extra challenge to the challenging physical task of labor. Despite that, some women will fast. Whether or not you fast, here are foods that help build healthy brains for your baby:

• Try eating fish when you break your fast. Fish is easy to prepare and full of healthy fats well suited for growing noggins. Check out Seafood Watch for more information on which fish is best for you and the environment.
• I love herbal infusions in pregnancy. They are especially great for women facing the great task of birth, and subsequent mothering. Alfalfa, red raspberry leaf, nettles, and oatstraw are wonderful third trimester choices. Drink them mixed or separately. They contain an amazing amount of minerals and micro-nutrients, all of which saturate your tissues and muscles with nutrients that help them work efficiently in labor.
• Egg yolks, butter, whole fat milk, and all other foods rich in cholesterol can be considered brain food. So go ahead and have eggs and toast with lots of butter for suhoor. Your baby will be smarter;)!

Staying hydrated is actually a bigger concern than caloric intake for fasting pregnant and nursing women. Abstaining from water all day can be a real challenge while pregnant and/or nursing. I suggest that when you eat in the morning and in the evening, drink an electrolyte drink, preferably not Gatorade as it has tons of sugar and other undesirable preservatives. Try this mixed in your water. Coconut water is another refreshing way to replenish your electrolytes. Vitamin Water and Re-Charge are also good choices. Electrolytes help the water replenish and hydrate you. Without them it often seems that the water just rushes through you!


Nursing and fasting is often more difficult than pregnant while fasting. That is simply because while nursing, you also have to change diapers, push the stroller, and carry and nurse the baby. There is more work involved! All of the above recommendations can apply to nursing women. Along with a few of these:

• Add one tablespoon of coconut oil a day. You can eat it directly off the spoon. Lauric acid is the main ingredient in coconut oil. Lauric acid is a medium chain fatty acid, the primary component in breast milk. This can help keep your breast milk full of the nutrients your baby deserves.
• Focus on hydration. You will feel thirsty due to the hormones of breastfeeding, primarily prolactin. When you are not fasting, always keep a bottle of water with you and electrolytes are a must. The above mentioned studies have found that lactating women hydrate more than non-lactating women in Ramadan. Remember that and drink to thirst.
• Stay away from the fried offerings always so present at iftar gatherings. Often they are fried in unhealthy fats full of trans-fats. Trans-fats are easily transferred to breast milk. Be mindful of healthy fats and fulfill your fat cravings in other healthier ways such as butter, meats, fish, and eggs.

Ramadan, however, is not only about the physical fast. Fasting also takes place on the spiritual plane. Fast from the fast-paced world for your baby's sake. Slow down and retreat deep into the stillness of spiritual practices and a beautiful remembrance. This more than anything is what nourishes mothers and babies, whether or not they fast during Ramadan. I pray you all have a blessed month full of vast openings and a renewed closeness to God. Please remember me in your prayers.

Eat, Drink and Be Content - My Birth Story

The gray area of when labor starts is rarely heralded by a neat "5 min apart, lasting 1 minute, for at least 1 hour", otherwise known as 511, but, shhh, don't tell my midwifery clients.  As a midwife, I can tell it in the puffed faces of my beautiful mothers, their mental desperation and physical distress at a state that is starting to feel timeless. As a mother, I recognize it in myself when I start to burn things in the kitchen, consistently, each meal is somehow derailed, for days.  My mind is incredibly present, but not.  It is the outward manifestation of the internal contradiction, in the the invariable discomforts of late pregnancy, I somehow find myself yearning for escape though the rhythmic pain of contractions.

I have just felt three contractions in a half hour.  They squeeze my middle, forcing me to sway my hips and breathe.  The baby even pauses its passes at my ribs, seeming to wonder at the new sensations too.  I call my husband at work, wanting him to be on alert in case he has to come quick.  The kitchen is inside out with half finished projects, coconut date balls need to be rolled and dipped in coconut, salsa needs to be chopped and bottled, there's milk cooling for yogurt, beans bubbling for tonight's enchiladas, and a sink full of the evidence.  It's at least an hour or two of work, and my labors rarely last that long.  My mind is swimming between before and after. Now, I'm a pregnant mother preparing her family for her postpartum rest. After, I'm on the other side of this great battle called labor.

I've been advised by many to listen to Surah Maryam (the Chapter of Mary) during labor.  It is what fits right now.  I plug in my phone to the speakers.  "Kaf Ha Ya Ain Sad" rings out of the dainty speakers and reverberates through my entire being on such a physical level, that I  grab the counters edge and sink down to the kitchen floor.  The soothing words and rhythm continue to wash over me melding the before and after of this fragile expectant mother.  I am reminded that if I die, I am a martyr, receiving the same spiritual status as a holy warrior.  I weep for a forgiveness I didn't know needed forgiving. It feels like the shedding of a self, one that needs to yield in order for a momentous event to occur.

My son overhears the weeping and asks, "Are you having contractions?"  Yes, I answer him, noting mentally, that no, I haven't felt them since I called my husband half an hour ago, but there is no other explanation for my unraveling in the kitchen, so I do what most mothers do and opt for expediency.  I hear him tell his sister that the baby is coming.  I am once again grounded by my sweet children.  The dates need to be pitted.  I hit 'translate' on the Qur'an app on my phone.  The ayah (verse) that is playing at that moment, that pops into my phone's screen, is like a Divine answer to my misgivings, "So eat and drink and be contented".  My heart swells with belief, and I am back on the staircase weeping.  Allah is al-Hayy, the Living, I am not alone in this undertaking.  The kitchen can wait, I finish listening to the surah before resuming my work.   I imagine that this is what a soldier feels like before battle, humbled ego, and steadied heart.

After having three labors, there are some individual patterns that can be etched out.  I can now say that not only does my water break before my labors, but that it does so at the beginning of the morning prayer.  It's an odd pattern, but I like it.

I'm lying in bed as my husband is rousing for fajr, when a contraction hits me so hard, I reach out for his arm.  And then with a great release, the soothing warmth of amniotic fluid gushes between my legs, a message from the other side, my babies habitat for the past nine months revealed.  Instantly,  I am shivering and moaning through contractions.  It's odd to be a midwife and a mother in labor.  The contrast between the head and the heart is somehow clearer.  I'm noting from a distant place, that I am in transition, right now.  I tell my husband to call the midwife, but tell her not to come, the heart is wanting privacy.  I am playing that mind game that mothers in labor play.  We tell ourselves that this is only the beginning in order to have mental stamina for the end, and in some ways, labor really is only the beginning.

The morning prayers are said, and we are descending the staircase so these moans of "Ooooopppppeeennn" do not wake the sleeping children.  By the time we make it to our living room, the birth room, I am nauseous and hot.  I want a wet washcloth, and a woman's knowing touch.  My beloved midwife lives less than a mile away.  "Call her", I tell my devoted husband who is fumbling with the birth tub pump.  She answers and says, I'm already on my way, did we think she was waiting for another call?  Oh midwives, the good ones capture that difficult place between knowing and unknowing with such skill and wit.

I am sending each contraction into circles of movement, from hips to cervix.  I can't imagine not circling my hips. "Ya Latif", O Gentle One, I mutter weaving this sentiment into these circles.  I am connected to my Muslim sisters from Afghanistan to Senegal, who have uttered this Divine name through their contractions for centuries.  They become my companions through these giant, urgent waves.  I can do this too.

The birth tub is inflated, but dry, as I am feeling the first urges to push.  There is no time to fill it.  I have never done this without the tub and I am nervous.   How do I push outside of the tub?   The answer soon becomes clear, you just do.  Twenty minutes later, my nine pound baby boy is born.  We have named him Ya Sin, a name without direct meaning, yet fraught with Divine mysteries and meanings.  It is what I felt throughout this pregnancy, and the earliest twinges of  labor, a knowing beneath the surface, that if trusted and sought, will open up worlds of understanding.  May Allah bless him, and all babies and mothers everywhere. Our children truly are here to teach us, from their conception, to adulthood.  I am grateful to learn.

Post Note: We wanted to say a special thank you to our other stellar midwife Lael, who not only made the birth hours before leaving on vacation, but brought us a dozen eggs from her chicken to nourish us and continue the cycle.

The Prophet Muhammad as a Baby

Photo Credit

In honor of the Islamic lunar month of Shaban, traditionally touted as the month of the Prophet (peace be upon him), I am sharing some really sweet notes on the development of the Prophet Muhammad as a baby.   These notes are from a class I attended about six months ago with  Ustadha Eiman Sidky.  I wish I could find the book from which she took these pearls, but alas, my notes are lacking the text. If anyone knows, please leave it in the comments, so I can add it! They detail his development from turning over to talking, and as always he was exemplary and above the curve.  I love thinking of his blessed babyhood, and how he was as an infant.  Enjoy!

• At two months of age he was rolling over already.
• By four months he was cruising, as in cruising along tables, and other furniture to move from one place to another.
• He was walking at five months. Can you imagine!?
• At nine months he was speaking Fus'ha, the elegant and elevated form of Classical Arabic. It is the form that the Qur'an was revealed in. 
• At ten months, he was able to accurately shoot a bow and arrow, a sign of his piercing intelligence and unwavering focus. May Allah bless him!!
• And always, before he touched anything, even as an infant, he would utter a 'Bismillah"

Enjoy this month, may it bring you closer to the Prophet and prepare your heart for Ramadan!  Remember all the babies of the ummah in your du'a!

Dua (Supplications) for Pregnancy, Labor and Conception

This has been going around lately, but I thought some of you might benefit. Unfortunately, I'm not sure who put it together so I can't give credit where it's due. For those of you who don't know the Arabic terms, apologies! I should probably put a glossary on here somewhere, but for now if you have any questions just ask. Enjoy!


Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem



Here is a brief list of various things that we were told to recite and do during pregnancy and labour.



Please pass it on for anyone who you feel may benefit from it.








Daily

- Surah Inshiqaq (Surah 84) – to be recited daily throughout the pregnancy

- Surah Luqman (Surah 31) – to be recited daily during the 1st trimester when the baby’s brain, mental faculties and nervous system are developing

- Surah Yusuf (Surah 12) – to be recited in the 2nd trimester when the child’s physical appearance is forming

- Surah Maryam (Surah 19) – to be recited in the 3rd trimester as labour approaches

- “Ya Lateef” – to be recited 129 times every morning and evening









7th month only

- The husband should recite Surah Inshirah (Surah 94) 152 times on the baby









Labour

- The first ayat of Surah al-Fath’ (Surah 48)

- “Ya Lateef”

- Surah Maryam (Surah 19)

- Surah Inshirah (Surah 94)

- “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”









General advice

- Shaykh Muhammad Ba Shu’ayb once advised, for the sake of any children we are to have to recite all our adhkar and awrad everyday and to ensure that we pray as many prayers in congregation with our spouse.

- Read as much Quran as possible.

- Try and do as much salawat on the Prophet (saw) as possible – in particular Salat al-Tunjina’ and “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”

- As babies are said to be able to recognise certain sounds and music from their time in the womb, reading certain texts such as the “Book of Assistance” by Imam al-Haddad, is advised in order to bring about recognition.

- One of the Habaib advised pregnant women to look at pictures of the Ka’aba when she was too tired to actively engage in ibada.









For those trying to conceive children

Habib Umar has recommended…

- Recite Surah Fatiha (Surah 1) 41 times in between the sunnah and fard of Fajr prayer.

- Recite verse 38 of Surah Imran (Surah 3) as many times a day as possible.

Hakima Midwifery at Eco-Fair

Tomorrow, November 6, from 11-4, the MCA in Santa Clara, California is hosting it's annual Eco Fair. I'm going to have a booth there with lots of giveaways, including Erba Organics mom and baby body care products. I think I might even have some chocolate to give out too. So, come and say salaam, there will be children's activities, a mini farmer's market, demonstrations, a book and hijab exchange, and more. Come and support the Muslim Green Team!

What Luke Said

Home births don't always happen at home. On average around 10% of attempted home births end in the hospital. This is the story of one such birth and the feelings and raw emotion such a transfer can evoke. This acute disappointment and sense of failure is the domain of women who attempt natural birth and don't end up with one. They are the brave ones, the ones who risk, struggle, go out on a limb, and after their labor, in this case two days of it, end up in the place they had hoped to avoid. Unlike women who intend a hospital birth and well, end up with one, women who attempt a home birth and then end up in the hospital have the extra burden of processing what went 'wrong'. Another curve on the long road of motherhood.



Maceo was my client. She is an example of the intelligent and thoughtful women who choose out of hospital birth. A talented writer and warm presence, she brought joy to her pregnancy and was one of the rare women who enjoyed the pregnancy more and more as her belly swelled, all the way up to and past her due date! She will always have a special place in my heart as after my own baby was born, in her fifth month of pregnancy, she brought me delicious Cuban food and her cheery presence. We measured her belly on my couch with my two week old sleeping nearby. During her first night of contractions, I slid my sleeping daughter into the car, and drove the mile to Maceo's house, my daughter never waking the entire night. This type of shared motherhood is the glue of friendship and community. Thank you Maceo!



So without further ado, here is a re-posting from Maceo's own blog, Dripping River Water, which of course, you all must go subscribe to right now, as I'm sure there is much forthcoming mama wisdom from this source! And welcome to the sweetest Omar!

There is a table in the lobby. It is long and wooden positioned right below a big mirror. There people leave things they no longer want: old fax machines, magazines, sneakers, books. I am the resident manager and this leaving of things annoys me only when no one takes it. I am left to throw away these items. Things that could have easily been given as a donation, somewhere else, not in the lobby of my building. There was a pocket sized New Testament once. I picked it up. This is a book I couldn’t throw out, I couldn’t leave it on the sidewalk, I couldn’t give it to a random person. I had to keep it and for a year it lived between my Moroccan Arabic Phrasebook and El diccionario de sinonimos y antonimos bought in Venezuela when I was there in 1996.

My son is now 5 weeks old. He has lived his days between arms of those who love him. I have only been away from him minutes at a time, missing him and calling my mami to see how he is doing. Yesterday I went for a walk with my friend. I left my mami with 5 ozs of my milk. I gave her instructions and hoped that it wouldn’t be too hard for either of them. The sun was out. Its rays hit my toes. There was a chill in shady areas. I was afraid to catch a cold. I thought of myself confined in my bedroom pumping milk, sweating and sick, not able to see my son.

We went to Arizmendi. I was treated to pizza and a root beer sitting outside. I watched the beautiful people of Oakland pass by. I saw the mamas pushing the strollers or carrying their babies on their backs. I saw the dogs. The endless amount of dogs take over the sidewalk. I wondered if my skin would darken sitting outside of Arizmendi. I have been home for weeks looking out the living room windows at the trees and the birds. The root beer was good. It became my new favorite. There on the table was the cap. It had writing. In the inside it read, Luke 1:37. I thought the root beer bottling was more hipster than religious. Or maybe it was both.

For the past five weeks I have only written in my head. I write books and plays while I nurse my son in his sleep. I wish that the words would leave my mind and walk unto the page. Any page. Somewhere else. But the words don’t. They are locked away and I wonder if I will be able to write. Then I read stories of writers who have shared similar nights. Perhaps not nursing their sons but still in bed writing words on the walls with their pupils.

For the past five weeks I have begun learning what it is to be a mother. I have learned what it is to remain still, to be totally dependent. There is a scar above my bikini line. It is black and sometimes it is sore. All throughout my pregnancy I was pleased not to have any stretch marks. Instead I got a scar where they pulled my baby out. That scar reminds me of my imperfections and my failures.

I wonder sometimes why I couldn’t give birth at home. Sometimes I have a hard time completing things. The end is always so hard. I go through my over fifty hours of labor at home and four days in the hospital. I try to figure out what exactly went wrong. I know everything is God’s will but somehow I feel at a loss. I wonder if somewhere in back of my mind I was too scared to finish the job. I couldn’t give birth naturally in a birthing tub, in my kitchen because it meant I actually had to complete something. I needed help. Like heavy drugs to soothe me, to make me relax, to actually fall asleep. I went to the hospital, a place I still don’t want to give birth in again. They helped me. I had sweet nurses who gave me more pillows and filled my water bottle. I knew that with a touch of button someone would be at my side. So the whole time I had to not be upset. I had to take everything in stride because I had my baby in my arms. And if I got frustrated at the nurses constantly coming in and asking me the same questions, at them grabbing my breasts without asking me anything to see if my milk was coming out, at my son being picked up all hours of the night to be weighed, I would have made it worse for myself and I would have been ungrateful. I still have to write about that. All of that. But I am afraid that it will make me cry.

On my bedside table there is a tube of Barq’s root beer lip balm. I don’t like that root beer but I like the taste on my lips. I put it on last night before getting into bed. Then I remembered. Luke 1:37. I went to the living room to the shelf where the pocket size New testament lived. I took it into bed. My husband perplexed. I have not read the Qur’an in weeks and here I was with the Bible. I opened it to Luke right away. There I read: “For with God nothing will be impossible.”

Sighs and smiles.

the end.

Guardian Angels

NPR just posted a story on Afghanistan's midwives. The training of midwives in a country with the second highest maternal mortality rate in the world (approximately 1600 women for every 100,000 women who deliver die) is proving to beneficial, not only for the women who deliver at these midwives hands, but for the midwives themselves. It is an occupation accepted in a society with deeply entrenched customs concerning women and work. With midwifery, everybody wins. The head of woman's affairs in the province of Badakshan, recently declared that the midwives are like, "...guardian angels for infants and mothers."

A world away, here in America, a world where woman's rights are supposedly sacrosanct, we are also struggling to make midwifery safe and legal. Illinois is currently debating the role of midwives in their state, a state with a large rural population, who sometimes end up delivering with no licensed practitioner attending them. Rural areas could grealty benefit from legal midwifery. It allows access to qualified health care providers, something all women should have the right to, during pregnancy and childbirth. Time magazine recently detailed the lengths some women have to go to in order to have a licensed midwife at their birth. It is reminiscent of the what some women used to go through in this country in order to obtain an abortion.

It astounds me how similar the struggles of a woman in rural Afghanistan and a woman on the 'El' train in Chicago truly are. Both are entitled to safe, smart, professional care during their childbearing years. Why then, can we laud such care for Afghan women, but fear or deny it for ourselves? It's time America realize all of the benefits of midwifery care, and it's time we stick up for woman's rights on our very own soil too. For as the head of woman's affairs summarized, midwives really are guardian angels for mothers and infants. Don't all mothers and infants deserve such a watchful, tender eye?

The Womb and Mercy

Some of my Ramadan reading has entailed the above, The Tao of Islam by Sachiko Murata. It is only through the materially deprived yet,spiritual uplifting state of fasting, that I can even hope to make sense of most of this book. She uses the Taoist formulation of yin and yang as a lens to look at Islam's theology around gender relations. It's fascinating. She has a most amazing chapter entitled, "The Womb." One of Allah's 99 names, ar-Rahman, or the Most Merciful one is closely related to the word for 'womb' in Arabic. There is so much depth and reflection on that alone, but for one more qualified than I! I wish to leave you with a few quotes relating ,of course to pregnancy, birth and mothers, all of which can be a wide opening into understanding the nature of the One who created.




There are four main sayings by the Prophet Muhammad, called hadith in Arabic, regarding the womb, which Murata uses towards the end of the chapter to exemplify the relationship between the nature of women, and Allah's Mercy. One of these that I particularly like is:

"God said, 'I am God and I am the All-merciful. I created the womb and gave it a name derived from My own name. Hence, if someone cuts off the womb, I will cut him off, but if someone joins the womb, I will join him to Me'"

The following passage on the station of mothers, was aid by Ali ibn al-Husayn, the grandson of the Prophet Muhammad.

"The right of your mother is that you know that she carried you where no one carries anyone, she gave to you of the fruit of her heart that which no one gives to anyone, and she protected you with all of her organs. She did not care if she went hungry as along as you ate, if she was thirsty as long as you drank, if she was naked as long as you were clothed, if she was in the sun as long as you were in the shade. She gave up sleep for your sake, she protected you from heat and cold, in order that you might belong to her. You will not be able to show her gratitude, unless through God's help and giving success." (pg 213)

In reflecting on gestation and birth and how it relates to the grave and death, and the life after this, Sachiko Murata writes:

"Human beings develop in the womb in a manner that parallels the order followed by God in creating the macrocosm. In the womb the infant grows to completion and reaches deliverance by dying to the womb in order to be born into the world. In the world the human being grows to spiritual perfection and reaches deliverance through death to this world and birth into the next."

In keeping in this vein of reflecting on birth in this life with birth in the next, Murata quotes a Rumi poem. Here, he is comparing pregnancy and birth to a death, and encouraging us to live by the quote of Ali to "Die before you die", this of course, referring to the death of the ego. Like labor, this is an incredible challenge on all levels.

"Although the mother suffers the pain of childbirth, the embryo breaks out of prison.

The woman weeps at the birth: "Where is the refuge?" The child laughs: "Deliverance has come!"

Until mothers feel the pain of childbirth, the child finds no way to be born.

The Trust is within the heart and the heart is pregnant: all the exhortations of the saints act as a midwife.

The midwife says, "The woman has no pain. Pain is necessary, for it will open a way for the child."

I hope these quotes inspire you in these waning days of Ramadan. Please remember me and my family in your prayers!

Blessed Births and Beginnings

Motherhood by bagath makka

My Ramadan post has taken a back seat to, well, my Ramadan! Next year God willing, I will post something! In the meantime, I have found a lecture, again by Shaykh Abdul Hakim Murad, on motherhood. He talks about many of the mothers mentioned in the Quran, the mother of Moses, Mary, and others, and mentions the significance of this. That each time we speak about greatness, we mention the mother, and that this in turn deserves an immense amount of respect. He mentions that starting with birth, a mother is given blessings; that with each contraction she is given the reward of freeing a slave. Each contraction! One reason to be grateful for a long labor! If you are celebrating Ramadan this year, I pray that it is one of enormous benefit to you and your family. Look for more frequent posting in a couple of weeks!

Home Birth Videos

I bring you two home birth videos. The first is a first time couple, birthing at home on their Oregon farm. It is a mini-documentary and one of the most modest home birth films I have seen, yet very real and moving. The second is from a documentary I have blogged about before, The Doula Film. It is a second time mom birthing at home in the UK. She is incredibly calm and composed throughout the birth, particularly whilst pushing. Enjoy.

I hope to post on Ramadan for pregnant and nursing moms in the next day or two. Ramadan begins here tomorrow so we are making goodies and preparing today. There is a sister conducting a study on whether or not fasting in Ramadan while nursing impacts baby weight gain, and/or milk supply. She is hoping to get more participants. If you are interested please email her at RamadanNursingStudy@gmail.com - until then enjoy the videos and Ramadan Kareem!!

A Noisy Postpartum

crying-baby by bbuanach



After I had my daughter, my midwife checked both of us out, and satisfied with the health of me and my girl, tucked us snuggly into bed to rest. She then walked down to our local coffee shop and picked everyone up a latte. I got freshly picked wildflowers in lieu of the caffeine. We then proceeded to snack on fresh berries, cheese and crackers while chatting. There was a soft morning breeze blowing through my window and I could hear the pigeons cooing.

That was after my home birth. If I had had a hospital birth, it would've not only looked different, but it would have sounded different. My labor would have been accompanied by at the very least, the thumping rhythm of the fetal monitor, the beep of aforementioned monitor when the paper ran out, and the constant introductions of nurses, doctors, and pediatricians. My postpartum room most likely would have been shared with another mother, who may or may not have had a slew of visitors, and who may or may not have had a penchant for television watching. And again, there would be a new face and name introducing itself, at least every 12 hours or so. The coffee would have been terrible, and the flowers an elevator's ride away.

That's to mention nothing of the cries of not only my baby, but possibly my roommates baby too. Recent findings are now claiming that the noise of the hospital can be detrimental to health, not to mention recovery from birth. Take a look at this brilliant study and analysis of the decibel level of labor and delivery, and postpartum units in American hospitals. I love her idea of a postpartum lounge for new mothers to congregate in after they birth their babies. Although, I think even this might be a bit much for new mothers - it takes a considerable amount of energy to interact with strangers, especially in the precious moments after one has a baby. Still, I think that her nod towards other postpartum cultural practices, and their strict emphasis on calm, quiet, and rest for the new mother and baby, is an important and lacking one here in America. For most women here, it's back to 'normal' at about seven days postpartum. In contrast look at these practices from around the world.

• In Sudan mothers are treated to 40 days of rest, and beautification, treatment very similar to what a new bride in Sudan receives. They are served a fenugreek pudding, believed to encourage breast milk production and make one fat, something desired in Sudan! The treatment is thought to allow them to exit their 40 days feeling beautiful and rested.
• In Indonesia, the mother does not enter the kitchen or wash until the umbilical cord has shriveled and fallen. This ensures rest for her. The husband does not sleep for three days as he must guard the mother and baby. How about that for a taste of sleep deprivation for the partner!
• In India trained women come to the house and perform warm oil massages for mother and baby. It is believed to reduce colic in infants and preserve a woman's life long health. They also believe in resting for 40 days. Their are many special foods associated with the postpartum period.
• It is Holland I believe, who takes the cake for postpartum care. There a women receives a kraamverpleegsters, a postpartum nurse, who comes to the house all day long for eight days. This is paid for by the government. She helps with everything from breastfeeding, advising on infant care, to laundry and cooking! She even manages the flow of visitors.

With all of this care, I'd be surprised if a baby ever cried in these countries! I hope that hospital administrators and anyone involved with postpartum mothers, would look at the above examples for inspiration and guidance on how mothers should be valued. Ask any mother what she wants, and I hedge that a good portion of them would say, "Some peace and quiet". Wishing that for you and yours!

Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding

I realize that there have been a few breastfeeding posts in a row, but seeing as I'm spending much of my days and nights doing just that, I guess it's on the brain. Recently, I read Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding. Ina May is a woman's woman. Reading her is like having a chat with your auntie about breastfeeding. She peppers her writing with illuminating anecdotes and funny asides.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is famous for its birth stories and one of the best aspects of this book, is it's breastfeeding stories. There are breastfeeding triumphs and losses, long unheard of stories of wet nursing, nursing multiples tales, and more. These are stories that allow women to see that breastfeeding is above all, simple and accessible. It is almost like reading about a different time and place, but these stories all take place in the here and now. Ina May is a student of cultures, and the stories, or "forgotten lore" as she calls them, are no accident. For, it is from lack of these stories in our lives, that Americans have lost so much knowledge of breastfeeding.

The highlight of the book is a chapter entitled "Nipplephobia". It is a brilliant and humorous analysis of why Americans, unlike other cultures, are so uptight about a woman's breasts being used for anything other than sex. This prudishness gives way to a dislike of breastfeeding in general. Nipplephobia is defined, identified, and cured in this chapter. She looks at other cultures and their examples to lead the way towards healing America's nipplephobia. I am especially fond (and I guess somewhat flattered), that towards the end of the chapter she cites examples from Muslim cultures where women who are covered head to toe, still have no trouble breastfeeding their baby, when their baby is hungry. One such example is from a male friend of hers who lived with a group of Bedouins during the '60's. Here is his experience in a culture where women covered head to toe:

"...but what really had an effect on me was the time when one of these Bedouin women raised her robes, exposing her breasts to me as she fed her baby. She acted as if everything were perfectly all right. It was only I who was taken by surprise. I realized that in cultures in which women breastfeed their babies, everyone in that culture grows up seeing breasts being used as they are meant to be. They have a natural attitude toward them. It's only in cultures like ours, where you almost never see a woman breastfeeding, that breasts become the object for something else, usually something to lust after."


She also cites Norway's example of moving towards a pro-breastfeeding culture, and gives reasons why they were able to do so while we weren't. It is a thought provoking chapter. The book as a whole is great with lots of information and tips about breastfeeding in the early days to weaning. The last two chapters, "Shared Nursing, Wet Nursing and Forgotten Lore" and the previously mentioned "Nipplephobia", are what makes this book so unique and memorable.

Fatimah Elaine

If you noticed that I haven't posted lately, look above for the best excuse ever! Welcome to my baby girl Fatimah Elaine, named after her two great grandmothers. Here are her stats:

• Gestated one full month longer than her big brother.
• First contraction to last push was two hours.
• Born in the water in our bedroom with one amazing midwife and her wonderful student..
• Birthed in four pushes.
• 14" head (!)
• 7'13"
• 21" long
• Loved and adored by many.

Thanks for all of your support. Posting will be light for awhile. If you are a midwifery client, I am taking clients with due dates of September and beyond. Thanks again. Keep us in your prayers and good thoughts!!!

Happy International Day of the Midwife!

Indeed, the world needs midwives now more than ever. Maternal mortality rates are a scourge in our time. In Afghanistan a woman dies each half hour of pregnancy, or childbirth related causes. Over 90% of these deaths occurs in developing countries, many of them Muslim. And in California, the maternal mortality rates have nearly tripled in the last decade! Midwives are oft touted as a large part of the solution when it comes to the crisis of maternal mortality. Take today as an opportunity to increase your understanding of midwifery and what midwives do. There is a fascinating and informative free online seminar taking place all day. There are some great sessions for expecting mothers about nutrition and yoga, as well as more academic sessions for midwives. And in an exciting step forward in terms of midwifery and home birth in the Gulf region, there was a recent article in The National opening up the conversation about home birth options there in UAE. Blessings to all the midwives who get up in the middle of the night, worry over their mums -to- be, and take great pride in continuing the tradition of women taking care of women.

First Birth in Medina - Abd Allah ibn al-Zubayr

Masjid-An-Nabawi #17 by Huda M Elmatasani

Asma bint Abi Bakr, sister of Ayesha (May Allah be pleased with them both), made the Hijra while pregnant. During her hijra, there was a rumor spread that any Muslim baby born in Mecca, would be slain. Imagine, not only fleeing for your life, but fleeing for the unborn life within you.

SubhanAllah, Asma must have been a very strong and courageous woman. She was also the one to bring food and water to her father, Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) and the Prophet (peace be upon him), while they were hiding in the cave. This was no small physical feat, and took a bravery I'm not sure many of us possess.

Then, to make hijra, a long and arduous journey while pregnant, also took an incredible amount of prowess and determination. Let this be an inspiration to those of us who are pregnant (or not pregnant, for that matter) next time we make an excuse for not exercising. May we be inspired and prodded by the strength of Asma!

Asma made the emigration safely, and not long after began to feel the pangs of labor. It must have been a relief to feel them in a place where she knew that she and her baby were safe and protected, and where the blessing of the Prophet's presence must have been palpable. Soon, her son was in her hands, the first son of Medina, Abd Allah ibn Zubayr (May Allah be pleased with him). He was the first Muslim baby to be born in Medina. Both the Emigrants to the city of Medina, and those Muslims of Medina who generously welcomed them, celebrated this birth with enthusiasm.

It was a sign of hope, the next generation of Muslims born in Medina, the newly adopted home of the community. Abd Allah was brought to the Prophet, who took a bite of a date, then removed it from his blessed mouth, and rubbed it over the baby's gums, all the while making lots of du'a for this child. The people of Medina paraded him through the streets, and it is said, made a sort of tawaaf of the streets of Medina with him! What joy and happiness babies bring!

JazakAllah khair to Ustadha Eiman and those who make her Saturday morning class possible for giving us the splendid details of this event!

From War to the Womb

This is an excerpt from a new film out about my favorite midwifery organization's efforts to bring Palestine and Israeli midwives together. It's unbelievable to think that a Palestinian woman has to wait 3-4 hours to reach her midwife because of checkpoints. I wonder why there are not more home births that happen there. I've blogged about these efforts before, but I think this clip is comprehensive in detailing the problems of the two countries midwives, how they are similar and how they differ.


COHI Coexistence Project
Uploaded by aldermanjessica. - Have a look at more lifestyle videos.


In other midwifery inspirations, I wanted to include this quote that was recently posted at the Citizens for Midwifery blog. I think it is a testament to the beauty of midwifery care, home birth, etc... Shouldn't we be striving for this beauty in our lives, even in birth?



While shopping [one] day, I noticed hand-dipped chocolates, homegrown vegetables, hand-spun wool, homemade preserves, cottage-industry soaps—all at premium prices, since they were made with care, individually, by hand, at home. I reflected, too, on how "old-fashioned" doctors, famous for house calls and compassion, are remembered fondly as part of the "good old days" and praised for their one-on-one caring. I mused how our society honors unique, special, one-of-a-kind items and services.

Yet when it comes to maternity care, it seems the bigger and busier, the better: high-tech procedures, standardized treatment, massive patient loads, in-and-out, assembly-line-style facilities. We are urged to leave the clean peace and quiet of home and go, instead, to a large, centralized center and entrust ourselves to a system of detached and often distracted institutional workers whom we've never met and may never see again. I find it hard to believe that anyone would consider hospital care preferable, if they really thought about it.

High-tech or hands-on? The choice is not new. In many cases, of course, mechanical and technological advances have been just that: improvements. Other advances, as we all know too well, have resulted in lasting harm.

— Judy Edmunds, excerpted from "A Grand Triumph," Midwifery Today Issue 37

Poem - Morning Song

Mother and Child by Koshyk

Morning Song

Love set you going like a fat gold watch.
The midwife slapped your footsoles, and your bald cry
Took its place among the elements.

Our voices echo, magnifying your arrival. New statue.
In a drafty museum, your nakedness
Shadows our safety. We stand round blankly as walls.

I'm no more your mother
Than the cloud that distills a mirror to reflect its
own slow
Effacement at the wind's hand.

All night your moth-breath
Flickers among the flat pink roses. I wake to listen:
A far sea moves in my ear.

One cry, and I stumble from bed, cow heavy and floral
In my Victorian nightgown.
Your mouth opens clean as a cat's. The window square

Whitens and swallows its dull stars. And now you try
Your handful of notes;
The clear vowels rise like balloons.

-Sylvia Plath (1932-1963)



There was a study released in Pediatrics on Monday that says if American women were to breastfeed exclusively for six months, that nearly 900 infant lives and billions of health care dollars would be saved each year. Only 12% of American women exclusively breastfeed at six months. This article in the Washington Post details many of the benefit of breastfeeding and mentions how birth practices affect breastfeeding outcomes, "The pediatrics academy says babies should be given a chance to start breast-feeding immediately after birth. Bartick said that often doesn't happen, and at many hospitals newborns are offered formula even when their mothers intend to breast-feed. " That first hour or so is so important for many interactions between mother and infant, breastfeeding included. Ask for help from your midwife or hospital staff if you are unsure of how to get the baby on, it really can ease the way for so much if the baby can have at least one go at the breast in the first hour or so. Breastfeeding is often viewed as a choice in this country, but in terms of public health, it really should be looked at similar to seat belts, you are far better off with it than without it.

I also wanted to share a link of a UK publication entitled Mum and Muslim magazine. They have just come out with their first issue and there are some interesting articles up. Go check it out!

Birth Story - Baby Abdurahman

By Faraz_Ilu

This moving birth story is from a mother, Umm Abdullah, who had a C-section for her first, and a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) in a birth center for her second. Umm Abdullah was incredibly educated and persistent in her decision making around her VBAC birth and it was thrill to be able to aid her on this healing journey.It was a joyous day for all when little Abdurahman arrived! She was blessed to have the resources available to her to achieve the VBAC, unfortunately, many in this country are not so lucky and are forced to have repeat Cesarean surgeries. Recently, though the tides have been changing and there has been a lot of attention given to allowing more VBACs in America. Newsweek recently documented the changing attitudes about VBACs and the National Institute for Health has just convened a conference all about VBACs. You can read the results of that conference here and a NYT summary here. And now, the birth story....

Ar-Rahman's Gift

by Umm Abdullah

My second son, Abdurahman, was a gift from Ar-Rahman, as was his birth.

My first son, Abdullah, was born via c-section. Despite an un-medicated labor in which I even refused the IV, and an hour and a half of pushing, Allah willed that he come into this world with the help of surgical intervention. Alhamdulillah, he was a healthy and beautiful baby with a purple, cone-shaped head, and he latched-on to the breast vigorously despite the one hour interlude from the time of his birth until I could hold him in my arms. I brought him home with a sense of gratefulness to Allah for blessing me with His gift, yet I could not shake the sense of dissapointment that I had in not being able to birth naturally. I started to research VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) in those early post-partum days.

Almost exactly two years later my husband and I were blessed with another pregnancy. I knew that this time I would do things differently. I researched and searched, and realized that the best way to give myself a chance at a successful VBAC was to avoid the hospital. In the hospital, interventions are used routinely, and often times not out of real medical necessity. These unnecessary interventions interfere with the natural birth process and lead to unnatural results. Plus many women who gave birth in non-hospital settings, such as birth centers and at home, wrote of such amazing, positive birth experiences. I contacted a midwife named Shannon, a Muslima alhamdulillah, who works in a birth center, and my husband and I decided to meet her and tour the center. From the moment I met her I knew that I wanted her to be the one to help me deliver my baby, biithnillah. She is my sister in Islam and I was blessed to have her there for me from the start of my pregnancy, alhamdulillah.

One morning three weeks before my due date I was laying in bed reading stories of natural births when I felt a lot of pressure and more 'contractions' than the day before. I called Shannon and the rest of the day I noticed more and more pressure and contractions. Sure enough, by evening time I began contracting rhythmically and they were becoming more painful. I mustered up the energy to do a light cleaning of the house, packed my bag, and my husband and I drove to my in-law's house. We stayed there all night. My contractions were getting more intense but I took my midwife's advice to lay down on my side and try to get as much sleep as I could. This is the best piece of advice I can give to a woman in early labor: Don't get excited, sleep as much as you can! Towards fajr time it was very difficult for me to get any rest but I let my husband sleep some more because I knew he would need the rest. I took a shower which was very soothing. Some family members came in the morning and took my older son out and my husband and I headed to the birth center. We arrived there around 11 am and upon checking me Shannon said I was already almost eight centimeters dilated, Allahu Akbar - that was wonderful news!

We settled into a birthing suite (I picked the blue one). My doula arrived at the same time we did, and for the next few hours my husband and my doula did an amazing job of helping me through my contractions with massage, moral and physical support, and lots of liquids and yummy snacks. Every contraction was getting stronger and I was using breath awareness along with visualization to help me through. I thought about Maryam (alayha salaam) and how she did it all alone. Allah, aza wa jel, helped her and I knew He would help me too. He, subhanahu wa t'ala, would not give me more than I can bear (that's a promise from Him!). It was so wonderful to eat and drink as I pleased (which you are not allowed to do in the hospital), to try different positions without being strapped to beeping machines or with something poking you in the arm, and to have complete privacy. The only man that was there was my husband and it was a very intimate and comfortable environment, a requirement for natural labor. Standing up and holding on to a birth ball on the bed was my position of choice. Every time I would squat another contraction would come and this position allowed me to have some control over the contractions. My midwives were checking the baby's heart rate intermittently with a stethoscope and testing my urine hourly, and I felt that was in such good hands, alhamdulillah.

My contractions were becoming extremely intense and I knew I was in the transition phase. The intensity of the contractions made me feel overwhelmed, and the midwives recommended I try the birthing tub for relaxation. As the water to fill the tub was flowing my water burst and I knew the baby was coming. I called out to Shannon and she placed a birthing stool under me. I held on to the sides of the stool and began to push. Nervously I asked whether I should be pushing even when there is no contraction and Shannon told me to do whatever felt right for me. That was a sort of mantra during the labor and it was such a wonderful and intuitive piece of advice, advice that I would never have gotten in the hospital. I pushed as I felt was right and before long the baby's head was almost out. In fact, I only pushed for ten minutes before he was born. The last push was intense but when Abdurahman came out and was given to me I felt sheer elation (along with relief). His little body felt so sweet against my chest.

Not once during my labor or delivery did I think about another cesarean. Allah, ta'ala, took that concept out of my mind completely, alhamdulillah. I was surrounded by caring, warm people whom I knew and who sincerely wanted the best for me and my baby. Undoubtedly it was hard work, but in the end I was blessed with an experience that I would never forget or want to change. Subhan'Allah, what a blessing from Ar-Rahman.

Interview - Hakim Archuletta

Hakim Archuletta is a healer in the true sense of the word. His knowledge of human nature on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level is profound. To read more of his extensive bio, click here. We are blessed to know him, and thrilled that he agreed to share his thoughts with us on women, birth, and pregnancy. I hope you enjoy the interview as much as I did! Many thanks to Hakim!

1) Tell us, in general, what you have learned about women through your work. The thing that I have seen most through the many years is the courage that women have and the strength that they have that they are often not aware of. More recently [I have seen], the willingness, the kind of enthusiasm for change and growth that they seem more connected to than men. So it seems that they more easily can make changes and are able to change with this goal and understanding that growth is part of their natural life force, and it demands a courage to face oneself; I’ve learned over the years that they do this more easily than men. Along with that, generally speaking, the strength that women have is inherent in their woman-ness, or their femininity, or whatever term. They are closer and find it more easy to be real and on the ground and grounded and connected than men. The other thing I have discovered is that they have taken up the slack that has been left by men who have not taken on the responsibility in the world for being men. So this strength that I have seen in women is more evident that in men. Men really have a fear of this strength. That fear is very often hidden and creates the need in men to control and to dominate. Woman’s kind of generosity in knowing that in many cases—and managing it anyway—is remarkable. And the patience and the tolerance that woman have for the weakness of men is part of the qualities they have as women.

2) Do you think women understand that they have this inner strength? Sometimes

they do, sometimes they don’t. They do unconsciously in many cases. They have the wisdom to know they can’t command their husband to do something. They can’t be “in charge,” but sneak the information in so he doesn’t know they are actually teaching him. The other thing I’ve learned is that cultures have not been—across the board whether they are Muslim, Arab, Pakistani, American—cultures are really off balance, and the real place of women even in this country is not really in place for the most part at all. And mostly that is because men have not stepped up to bat in the modern times. Rather they have let it go.

3)What kinds of issues specific to women do you feel affect their births? I think this basic configuration that I just described affects women deeply. They have not learned in many cases to trust what they know—and what they know in a more biological way for starters by being connected and grounded and real. Biological intelligence. And so they have been taught to believe that their knowledge is not real, that their emotions, for example, are their weakness according to cultures, whereas their emotions are their strength and force and foundation of knowledge. They don’t trust that; if they trusted that, everything would be better for them, including their birth. We are an unhealthy society top to bottom—education, politics, health, and finally in terms of our deaths—and all of this is not being addressed, little pieces, yes, but changing the whole kind of juggernaut in this world is daunting. My prayer is that Allah does not heal us with calamity and disasters like He heals individuals. Individuals are sometimes healed by disaster, calamity, grave illness, and so on. So childbirth should be completely re-thought. The hospital is not a healthy pace in terms of energy, in terms of everything a newborn needs, in terms of touch and smell, natural environment, air, light, energies. Traditionally, the advice that the hakims gave to pregnant women—and I have pregnant women who always ask me what to do you advise: First of all respect and honor what you have in terms of your natural mammalian capabilities in you. And if you give them their proper due, you want to have a setting that is safe. Every mammal does this. The closer they get to the birth, [they acquire] this need for the security of place. The traditional hakim is saying is during pregnancy, you surround yourself with good people and spiritual people and things that bring inspiration to you. Going to the awliya and having good energies surrounding you during the pregnancy is more important than any multi-vitamin for sure. Also, my advice when you are pregnant, is to be sure that you bring things to the table as a couple and address the unresolved issues as much as you can. You want love to be the primary nourishment for the child in the womb. Love is going to be the most valuable nutrient that it will get. Love, passion, lots of touching, lots of closeness, all those things that enhance the biological being, and singing … I love the tradition of an African tribe where the mother, each month of the pregnancy she composes a new line, she adds a line each month, until she has nine months of a song. So the child has a song, and when the child gets sick or hurt, she sings the song to him. The community as well sings the song to the child. Imagine the impact of this on the child, his nervous system, etc…

3. You have experienced home birth as a father. Can you tell us what that was like for you? I delivered my first son—following that I kind of had the realization that there is an energy that women have and that men have and that the birthing event is best conducted by women. Birthing belongs to the realm of women more than it does than to the realm of men. And so I actually tried to encourage women to take part in the births of my children as much possible, although I was present in many cases. I think if it were a homebirth, the sense of empowerment I think it has more do with recognition on a man’s part, the ability for him to recognize and on some level to grasp to some degree the awesome event of a birth. We have a tendency to abstract, and birthing drives home very dramatically that this is a life coming into being—because it so dramatic and so powerful, I would pray that insha’Allah men would have that ability without necessarily being present at birth. The best births tend to happen at home, and if there are women around that are supportive and they are reciting Qur’an and singing … my wife was doing the hadra right up to the birth. This is a very powerful thing to do in terms of preparing for birth. She would have half-hour labors. My daughter had two-hour labors. I asked her what would you attribute this to; she said childbirth is not hard, it’s easy because it's so natural. Yes, there is pain, yes, there is struggle, yes, there is stress … she actually uses that term, easy. The biggest thing is not buying in to the misogyny by men that describes childbirth as “the most painful thing that a person can go through.” That’s part of what I said in the first place. Men have a fear of woman. They love their mothers, but fear the power of women. The power to create—that’s much more than we men can ever take part in, the majesty of that. So keeping them [women] as these passive servants is an antidote for that. Making childbirth hard, all that comes in the same bundle of misunderstanding the strength and power that women hold ….

4. I have seen that hospital births have the potential to disrupt early bonding between mother and child. Meanwhile, it seems that much of the trauma you see originates in the relationship between mother and child. Can home birth play a preventative role? It is pretty clear to everybody that initial bonding, that intital touch,

establishes the foundational principle of resilience, and the ability to have a sense of security. That lack of security is one of the causes for so much emotional illness and physical illness in the mdoern world. Looking back historically there were times they would take child away from mother, there was a time that the colostrum of the mother was believed to not be clean, that baby should not suckle. All of these bizarre distortions of our basic nature. So bonding, genuine presence of mother and father, is the key to healthy stability in the persona and the development of resiliency of that child, the strengthening of the nervous system. Allah is generous so he gives mother-ness in many forms in his creation, even if the mother was not able to have the contact that they wanted with the child. The birth practice the more natural it is, the more pleasant the surrounding, there is beauty present. We cannot underestimate how important beauty is in our lives. Take the hospital, how it looks—already you are in trouble. Beauty is a real thing. It's not just aesthetics. This is something we lost, we have this idea that these things are not important to us in terms of our well being. So beginning with the birth process, this establishes our resiliance and ability to feel safe in the world, to have the nervous system function fully is important to our spiritual well being.

5. Can you recommend any somatic exercises that might help women prepare for birth? The more present one can be in body from the very beginning is important. This naturally wants to happen in pregnancy anyway, so the body will do things to make you present. Birthing is actually a somatic demand to be present, isn’t it? If I was giving advice, the exercises of awareness would be the first exercises [I would recommend]. These exercises establish their sense of standing on their two feet, of their legs carrying the weight of their body. [The are about] learning how to stand and establishing standing or re-establishing a sense of standing. Number two, becoming aware of the body's responses to everything the person encounters. How do you feel when this happens, what happens in you body when you walk into a Wal-Mart, when you walk into a rose garden? Become more aware of the standing in your body with your consciousness in the world. And then the awareness of breathing and the ability and development of this awareness, along with the flexibility of movement during the pregnancy. So the breath is full and complete. All of that breath and oxygen is free to travel through the body as fast as possible. There are more specific excercies that have to do with flexibility and presence that can enable one to relax so there is an easy letting go of the cervix and dilation that one can have …

In summary back to some of these things I started with. Women: learn to trust what you know inherently. Find how you can reach those things, trust them, and use them to live by. They call it women’s intuition, but more than that, it’s what Allah gave them. Its our inherent biological system, our nervous system, on mammalian level, a human level.

Picture Credits - Hakim Archuletta from www.islamondemand.com

Ethiopian Woman - babasteve flickr.com

Father and Baby - modenadude flickr.com

Sultan Ahmet - rmx flickr.com

Interview -Maha al-Musa Creator of Belly Dance Birth

Maha al-Musa is author, mother of three, doula and creator of Belly Dance Birth. She has released a DVD entitled, "Dance of the Womb - Belly Dance for Pregnancy and Birth". I love this DVD. It is soothing, encouraging, and a wonderful exercise during pregnancy and as a preparation for childbirth. I wanted to ask Maha more about how she developed this method, her experiences as an Arab women reconnecting with her roots, and of course, her births! The interview is below. You can watch a trailer of the DVD here and visit her website here.

1) Can you tell us a little bit about your background? How did you become interested in belly dancing as an art form?

Thank you Shannon – lovely to connect with you - My background is that I am of Palestinian/Moslem (father) and Lebanese/Christian (mother) origin, raised in Australia from two years of age! East meets West! I have always listened to Arabic music, including my father’s soulful singing voice, and danced as a child but it wasn’t until I went to visit my father’s exiled Palestinian family in Jordan at 21 years of age that I connected to belly dance as a powerful, spirited, fun and explorative dance art form…art in terms of expressing one’s longings, emotions, moods and essence through the bellydance..I was so fortunate to be invited into many different women’s space’s that exuded the same passion and genuine love of the feminine sisterly connection – I loved it and was hooked!

2) How did you start to make the connection between belly dancing and birth?

When I was 30 weeks pregnant with my first son Kailash over 13 years ago, I came to a very progressive and exceptionally beautiful town in Australia called Byron Bay that supported natural, home waterbirths and independent midwives…here I actually joined a pre natal belly dance class with an amazing midwife Ann (who was also a belly dancer!) … her class triggered deep memories of my Arab ancestry and experience from Jordan. I saw a very simple and natural connection to birthing through the belly dance movements which mimic the instinctive rhythms of the female body….in pregnancy the beauty of the changing shape and body of a woman is reflected in the tempo, tone and rhythm of this Arabic dance. In labour I took with me these empowering movements that encouraged a welcoming of contractions through a holistic focus on the dance, one’s body and breath, and a beautiful alignment and connection to baby during the birth process…I felt that I had all I needed to be autonomous and strong in my own resource: my birthing body and I was able to surrender without fear as my cervix dilated and I softened body, mind and Spirit thru the dance. When Kailash turned 6 months old I took over the class from Ann and I would take him with me dancing with him on my hip swirling and circling around the room full of beautiful mothers…I developed the work over the next 13 years until today and I never stop being inspired and sharing the knowledge with so many other women to give them faith, hope and strength in the normality of birthing...it is a great passion and love of mine…!

3) Can you speak about some of the traditional ways in which Arab women birthed and how the incorporated movement in their birthing?

I can speak about some traditional birth stories I know from my own Palestinian grandmother who birthed 9 babies at home and from an Egyptian friend of mine whose mother had 6 babies at home in rural Egypt, as well as an American dancer and belly dance teacher Morocco who witnessed the birth dance in a village in Morocco in the 1960’s – In regards to my grandmother - we had a traditional family birthing house where women of the family went to birth in the village of Al Qubab - Palestine… To this special house my grandma was taken on a horse and cart by my grandfather, whilst she was in labour with all her children by her side..there a midwife would meet her and assist in the birthing…the understanding was that a woman could move about in labour however she wished and in fact she was positively encouraged to move and be in upright positions..this is also depicted in many statues, drawings and images of ancient Near East women’s studies….before the advent of hospitals and medical interventions women of the east and I would assume in many traditional cultures supported one another whether it be by midwife, relatives or other village women…The contemporary observation of a birth in a village in Morocco by the wonderful belly dancer Morocco from New York was one in which she witnessed the supportive circle of women dancing, chanting, ululating around a very relaxed labouring mother..it is a beautiful tale of sisterly support and celebration of natural birthing..

4) One of the things I love about your work is that it portrays Arab women, not only in a positive light, but also as very powerful. This has always been my experience of Muslim women, but Arab women in particular. How do you see this work in terms of changing some of the stereotypes people may hold about Arab and Muslim women?

Thank you Shannon – this subject is extremely important to me…I am very very passionate about sharing POSITIVE aspects of Arab women’s culture..the awakening I had in Jordan was a real eye opener because before embarking on this trip I had a pre conceived idea about Arab and Moslem women and families expecting to witness Arab women as subservient, uneducated, walking 10 paces behind a man and generally down trodden! Nothing could have been further from the truth in my experience (and I am not denying that there are negative things that do also happen) but what we tend to see is media that constantly portrays Muslims and people of Middle Eastern origin as somewhat primitive, unapproachable and when not romanticized plain odd! Being Palestinian I have had many a surprised comments from people when they meet me amazed that I am a very nice and normal person not the assumed terrorist or fighting kind! Often it is those whom have never met a Palestinian or Arab person who have in their mind a detailed analysis, usually a one dimensional stereotype, that isn’t always favorable to the truth of what is…I love that the fact that in the birth climate (which has a political edge – human rights for baby, mother and society!) and my work there is a similar running theme of needing to stand up, be heard, to have the “truth” spoken and to be honored and acknowledged!

5) In your DVD you show the home birth of your daughter at 46, no small feat! It is very clear by watching it that the pelvic movements of belly dance births allowed you some release and relaxation, what was it like for you as a laboring woman to have this tool of belly dancing to cope with the contractions?

I have to say that I truly believe that having had the experience, knowledge and support of my cultural roots and this bellydancebirth® work enabled me to birth with a fearlessness and strength that was undeniable…..it was such a great gift to birth at home again at 46 years of age…….the bellydancebirth® techniques definitely helped to put me into a focused, soft, surrendered and relaxed state..a very good dear friend of mine, who also assists at homebirth, said to me there is no reason why older women cannot birth naturally….the main thing is they must release the neo cortex (thinking brain) and focus in on the primal brain, letting go of thoughts, analysis, what if’s etc in birthing – I have to say I AGREE!!...as we get older we do tend to think too much and not allow spontaneity and that comme ci comme ca attitude to prevail!! As an older woman birthing if you can allow the thinky brain to go on holiday and LET GO of “mind” chatter you will birth with greater surrender….the bellydancebirth® movements can powerfully bring you into this meditative, hypnotic state very easily…..its a great tool and focus in first stage labour….Not to say I didn’t have moments of “thinking” but I was able, through my experience of meditation and softening in the bellydancebirth® techniques to let them go more easily…and accept the sensations and contractions of my labour with a sense of birthing purpose rather than tension and tightness….

6) How have you seen belly dancing help pregnant and laboring women? Are there any specific labor patterns or pregnancy complaints that belly dancing might address?

There are many areas where bellydancebirth® techniques are very helpful for a pregnant and labouring woman…..the main areas that I emphasize are around the philosophy that birth is baby and woman centered…giving a central premise upon which the movements and philosophy of my techniques must stem….so firstly the psychological knowing that women are capable, strong, and their bodies are perfectly designed to birth is but a beginning point…we cannot hope to empower women when their main belief is that the answers lie outside of themselves….We have lost birth to the experts – the idea that the “other” is more knowledgeable than “I”…women must also work hard now to get back their sense of I CAN DO THIS identity…to have positive birth possibility is our main hope for the future……Then of course there are the physical realities of pregnancy and labour…For example, lower back pain a very common complaint which belly dance is very good at releasing through the sacrum and circling and rolling the pelvis with bended knees…..Also posterior presentations are more common today and are generally caused from too much reclining so we need women to exercise in upright positions with pelvis at its widest point and in labour to get women up with gravity and leaning forward to allow greater pelvic room with circular rotations ..this really helps with optimal foetal positioning……Bellydancebirth® techniques can help in so many ways – physical, mental and emotional….

7) Thank you so much for preserving this legacy of women centered birth. Is there anything else you would like to add or leave us with?

I am so happy to see after 13 years of work that belly dance for birth is really starting to take off around the world..I think women are looking for natural ways to empower themselves in birthing and in ways that truly work and support her instinctual knowing…I also know that birth is a mysterious process sometimes way out of our hands as well….there are no certainties so we must approach all our preparations with an open heart and mind ready for whatever experience we will have…..still to be BEST prepared, knowledgeable, have informed choice and with a sense of feeling safe wherever we birth (and that is personal) must be respected for all women…..I say “less can be more” on this journey…I am also happy to say that I am in the process of putting together my one day intensive workshop for birth professionals in theFundamentals Of Bellydance For Birth – The Al Musa Method®, which I have had many requests for and which I hope to take all over the world. My book and DVD Dance Of The Womb, are two wonderful resources as a starting point for women to have some understanding of this beautiful birthing modality.

Thank you Shannon for taking the time with me…much appreciated!