Eat, Drink and Be Content - My Birth Story

The gray area of when labor starts is rarely heralded by a neat "5 min apart, lasting 1 minute, for at least 1 hour", otherwise known as 511, but, shhh, don't tell my midwifery clients.  As a midwife, I can tell it in the puffed faces of my beautiful mothers, their mental desperation and physical distress at a state that is starting to feel timeless. As a mother, I recognize it in myself when I start to burn things in the kitchen, consistently, each meal is somehow derailed, for days.  My mind is incredibly present, but not.  It is the outward manifestation of the internal contradiction, in the the invariable discomforts of late pregnancy, I somehow find myself yearning for escape though the rhythmic pain of contractions.

I have just felt three contractions in a half hour.  They squeeze my middle, forcing me to sway my hips and breathe.  The baby even pauses its passes at my ribs, seeming to wonder at the new sensations too.  I call my husband at work, wanting him to be on alert in case he has to come quick.  The kitchen is inside out with half finished projects, coconut date balls need to be rolled and dipped in coconut, salsa needs to be chopped and bottled, there's milk cooling for yogurt, beans bubbling for tonight's enchiladas, and a sink full of the evidence.  It's at least an hour or two of work, and my labors rarely last that long.  My mind is swimming between before and after. Now, I'm a pregnant mother preparing her family for her postpartum rest. After, I'm on the other side of this great battle called labor.

I've been advised by many to listen to Surah Maryam (the Chapter of Mary) during labor.  It is what fits right now.  I plug in my phone to the speakers.  "Kaf Ha Ya Ain Sad" rings out of the dainty speakers and reverberates through my entire being on such a physical level, that I  grab the counters edge and sink down to the kitchen floor.  The soothing words and rhythm continue to wash over me melding the before and after of this fragile expectant mother.  I am reminded that if I die, I am a martyr, receiving the same spiritual status as a holy warrior.  I weep for a forgiveness I didn't know needed forgiving. It feels like the shedding of a self, one that needs to yield in order for a momentous event to occur.

My son overhears the weeping and asks, "Are you having contractions?"  Yes, I answer him, noting mentally, that no, I haven't felt them since I called my husband half an hour ago, but there is no other explanation for my unraveling in the kitchen, so I do what most mothers do and opt for expediency.  I hear him tell his sister that the baby is coming.  I am once again grounded by my sweet children.  The dates need to be pitted.  I hit 'translate' on the Qur'an app on my phone.  The ayah (verse) that is playing at that moment, that pops into my phone's screen, is like a Divine answer to my misgivings, "So eat and drink and be contented".  My heart swells with belief, and I am back on the staircase weeping.  Allah is al-Hayy, the Living, I am not alone in this undertaking.  The kitchen can wait, I finish listening to the surah before resuming my work.   I imagine that this is what a soldier feels like before battle, humbled ego, and steadied heart.

After having three labors, there are some individual patterns that can be etched out.  I can now say that not only does my water break before my labors, but that it does so at the beginning of the morning prayer.  It's an odd pattern, but I like it.

I'm lying in bed as my husband is rousing for fajr, when a contraction hits me so hard, I reach out for his arm.  And then with a great release, the soothing warmth of amniotic fluid gushes between my legs, a message from the other side, my babies habitat for the past nine months revealed.  Instantly,  I am shivering and moaning through contractions.  It's odd to be a midwife and a mother in labor.  The contrast between the head and the heart is somehow clearer.  I'm noting from a distant place, that I am in transition, right now.  I tell my husband to call the midwife, but tell her not to come, the heart is wanting privacy.  I am playing that mind game that mothers in labor play.  We tell ourselves that this is only the beginning in order to have mental stamina for the end, and in some ways, labor really is only the beginning.

The morning prayers are said, and we are descending the staircase so these moans of "Ooooopppppeeennn" do not wake the sleeping children.  By the time we make it to our living room, the birth room, I am nauseous and hot.  I want a wet washcloth, and a woman's knowing touch.  My beloved midwife lives less than a mile away.  "Call her", I tell my devoted husband who is fumbling with the birth tub pump.  She answers and says, I'm already on my way, did we think she was waiting for another call?  Oh midwives, the good ones capture that difficult place between knowing and unknowing with such skill and wit.

I am sending each contraction into circles of movement, from hips to cervix.  I can't imagine not circling my hips. "Ya Latif", O Gentle One, I mutter weaving this sentiment into these circles.  I am connected to my Muslim sisters from Afghanistan to Senegal, who have uttered this Divine name through their contractions for centuries.  They become my companions through these giant, urgent waves.  I can do this too.

The birth tub is inflated, but dry, as I am feeling the first urges to push.  There is no time to fill it.  I have never done this without the tub and I am nervous.   How do I push outside of the tub?   The answer soon becomes clear, you just do.  Twenty minutes later, my nine pound baby boy is born.  We have named him Ya Sin, a name without direct meaning, yet fraught with Divine mysteries and meanings.  It is what I felt throughout this pregnancy, and the earliest twinges of  labor, a knowing beneath the surface, that if trusted and sought, will open up worlds of understanding.  May Allah bless him, and all babies and mothers everywhere. Our children truly are here to teach us, from their conception, to adulthood.  I am grateful to learn.

Post Note: We wanted to say a special thank you to our other stellar midwife Lael, who not only made the birth hours before leaving on vacation, but brought us a dozen eggs from her chicken to nourish us and continue the cycle.

What Gets the Baby In...A Birth Story

"What gets the baby in, gets the baby out"

-Ina May Gaskin - founder of modern American midwifery

"...sexuality is a whole.  The same hormones are involved in the different episodes of sexual life such as intercourse, childbirth, and lactation....The final phase of each sexual event is always an 'ejection reflex': sperm ejection reflex, foetus ejection reflex, milk ejection reflex. 

-Michel Odent from The Farmer and the Obstetrician

I was awoken at around 2 am by a phone call from Kim (you can read her awesome rendition of giving birth here)  Expecting her second baby any day, I was waiting for her phone call.  

"I couldn't sleep so I had sex.  After we were done, my contractions started coming every five minutes.  I swear, I wasn't trying to bring on labor!"  Kim laughingly told me. I listened through a couple of contractions then told her to change positions, maybe try a shower and call me in half an hour to see if things slowed down, or picked up, or what.  I was thinking that things would peter out after her hormones calmed down.  Oh, how I love to be proven wrong.

My somewhat rule is that if the dad calls you during labor, it's go time.  About twenty minutes later, the phone rang.  Mike's Irish lilt turning serious told me that things were picking up and it looked like labor.  I could hear Kim moaning through a contraction in the background. Wonderful!  I told him to call the doula, and that I would get myself and my things together and head over.   

As  I was approaching the lights and wonder that is crossing the Bay Bridge in the wee hours, the doula called.  My other somewhat rule (because can birth really have rules?) is that if the doula calls, I better step on it.  Britt informed me that Kim was indeed active and that they just wanted to make sure that I was on my way.  Yes, I was, ten minutes I said.  I went as fast as feels safe over a bridge and through city streets.  

It was a lovely night to be born, a chill, crisp March evening.  Entering Kim's birth space was truly magical.  Kim is an artist. She makes each and every thing she does an act of beauty, creation, and meaning.  From our first visit her birth space and how it looked was of utmost importance to her and her husband.  She came through.  The tub had been moved into their living space. Candles, with inspiring collages and quotes from Kim's myriad friends, filled the room with love and light.  Music, which I never would have pegged as birth music, but suited the moment perfectly livened the mood.  Kim was on the bed hands and knees.  I threw my things down to say hello and have a quick listen.  As soon as I did that Kim let out a deep, sonorous yet guttural sound signalling that the power of birth was moving through her. My midwife ears heard it and I peeked at her perineum, indeed it was bulging with a soul determined to take it's place in the family, and soon!  

Kim made it clear that she wanted in the tub.  She was so relaxed and in control, yet totally surrendered. She had a vision of her birth, and she was going to make it happen if at all possible.  We moved her into the tub with the head sooo low! It was the perfect ending to a whirlwind labor.  The contractions slowed a wee bit, just in time to wake big sister.  Kim moved to hands and knees in the water.  With a couple of pushes, her son's head was out, witnessed by all in attendance, including her two year old pajama footed daughter.  I reached down to help with the body and sweep him through to mama's waiting arms.

And just like that, it was done, a circle of love completed.  Truly Kim's birth was an illustration that birth is not separate from sexuality, that it draws from it, and intimately relies on it.   It was an honor to see, and a privilege to so clearly observe a truth about women's bodies and their hormones, we are indeed vessels of love. 

Home Birth on ABC News

A surprising and refreshing look at home birth from the mainstream news outlet ABC. With home births increasing by 20% in the four year period between 2004-2008, it's no wonder that mainstream news outlets are approaching home birth with some respect, even reverence. The hostess says she was born at home in San Francisco in the 70's, "but that was a different time". Well, if that's the case, the times they are a changin' once again, because thirty years from now, I bet there will be a newscaster or two who was born at home herself! Enjoy the video!

Six is It - The Birth

Someone just sent me this webisode of a family of six, having a home birth with their '6th'! I really love how real it all is. The mother does a great job of expressing why even though this was her most difficult birth, it actually has sustained her in times of difficulty when mothering six! It's also so nice to see families outside of the dominant culture birth theirs at home. Enjoy!

Six is It- Episode 6 (The Birth) from Sixisit Episodes on Vimeo.

Birthrights

Birthrights is a wonderful new series premiering on Al-Jazeera English. It is a "series exploring maternal health and the power, politics and poverty that impacts it around the world.". The following three episodes are some of their first. The first one is about Hungarian OB turned home birth midwife, Agnes Gereb, and her imprisonment for attending home births in Hungary, a country where it is legal to choose your place of birth, but illegal to attend birth at home if you are a licensed practitioner! The second episode follows the lives of women who have undergone obstetric fistula repair surgery in Ethiopia. Obstetric fistulas are holes that develop, usually due to the prolonged pressure of a baby's head, between the rectum or vagina, leaving women incontinent of either urine or feces, rendering them also socially isolated. These injuries come about largely due to unskilled birth attendants, and a lack of resources. The third episode here follows a group of midwives traversing Ethiopia hoping to change that by either creating birth centers, or training traditional birth attendants, who have no training. Great series, I can't wait to watch more. Enjoy!!

Wisdom From the Crone

In this quarter's California Association of Midwives newsletter there is a wonderful new section entitled, "Wisdom From the Crone". This month's featured crone was the beloved midwife, acupuncturist and woman extraordinaire, Raven Lang. She talks about how midwifery, when she was coming of age as a midwife in the 1960's and 1970's, was yet to even have a name. That women felt a strong calling to it, to be held in sisterhood with other women, a vocation that often went unpaid and unsung. They followed their passion with great energy and drive, sometimes at the cost of their personal lives, such was their commitment to serving women.

I have a well loved, dog eared, highlighted, ancient edition of Myles Textbook for Midwives. In midwifery school, I relied on this book more than any other for guidance and explanation. I would (and still do) run home after a birth to look something up or confirm an explanation floating through my brain. More than any other book, I found the British no nonsense, cut and dry approach to midwifery refreshing and without dogma. We Americans tend to be a sentimentalizing bunch, midwives included. Myles's book was just birth plain and simple.

Which is why I was so dumbfounded to read how a few years before I was born, the midwives here, did not have access to this great midwifery text. Raven talks about how this type of global midwifery knowledge was just unavailable to the midwives at that time, some of whom didn't even have a phone line! I find this incredible, and quite humbling. To actually learn from birth itself, from women and babies, what a thought!

What a great debt we owe our teachers and the phenomenal women who have come before us. They have smoothed the path for all who have benefited from midwifery, students, midwives, women, fathers, babies, etc... Here are some more choice quotes from Raven Lang in response to being questioned about what we could do to help the Earth as midwives:

• Grow one's own garden and help others do the same

• Eat whole foods, buying them from local sources, and to shun corporate foods and packaging.

• To remain connected to the moon and the power and integrity of nature.

• To stay deeply connected to the cycles and power of the earth and its place in our universe.

How's that for career advice? She also advises young midwifery students:

• To put their family on the front burner and their profession on the back
  

• To work in pairs or teams so as to avoid burnout.

• To continue learning and never stop teaching.
  

• To strive for personal balance daily.
  

A midwife midwife-ing midwives. Now that's a midwife!

In Celebration of the Birth of the Prophet

It's that time of year again, the celebration of the birth of the Prophet!!This is a reprint with some added goodies (in bold at the end). Hope everyone is enjoying the celebrations, and all the rain! What a mercy.

"And when Aminah was pregnant with him

She did not complain about anything that befalls (pregnant) women

For Gentleness from the Lord of the heavens encompassed her

And Barred from her all harm, worry, and sadness

She saw (in a vision), as was narrated to us

That the Guardian (Allah) was going to Honor the Creation

Through the pure one who was in her womb, so she Rejoiced!

And the time for labor drew near, so she was filled with

pleasure!

And the lights emanated from all directions

For the birth of the one given intercession had arrived

And before dawn, the Sun of Guidance emanated

The Beloved became manifest, honored and protected"

An excerpt from "The Shimmering Light" compiled by the great scholar Habib Umar

Ustadha Eiman Sidky (May Allah protect her) is a treasure house of knowledge and goodness. Her accounts of the life of the Prophet (peace be upon him) are intimate, compelling and fascinating. She teaches a seerah class for women online each Saturday. In honor of the upcoming mawlid, she recently enlightened us on the pregnancy of the Prophet's mother, Aminah, and about some of the secrets of his birth. To think of our blessed Prophet in the womb of his mother and the stellar impact of his birth, is moving and awe inspiring.

• During her pregnancy, Aminah felt a light within her and one day it shone bright enough for her to see the castles of Bostra in Syria. Again before her delivery she also saw this intense light, light all the way to Syria.
  
• Once, while pregnant, Aminah heard a voice say to her, "Thou carriest in thy womb the lord of his people; and when he is born say: 'I place him beneath the protection of the One, from the evil of every envier'; then name him Muhammad"*
  
• When it was time for the labor, Aminah did not feel pains.
• At the time of the birth of the Prophet (peace be upon him) there were no impurities; no blood or other impurities that normally occur at a birth.
• The midwife who delivered the Prophet, Shifa'a, was the mother of 'Abd ar-Rahman ibn 'Awf (May Allah be pleased with them both).
• The night of the mawlid Shifa'a was sleeping, dreaming of a full moon that was about to fall into her lap. She was awakened from the dream by a knocking on the door, it was some one sent to bring her to Aminah so that she could help with the birth of the world's last prophet.
• When the Prophet was born, he was born in sajdaah. Shifa'a said that he smelled of musk and was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen. She knew that this baby would become something grand.
• When he was laid on the bed, he clutched his blessed little, newborn fingers into fists, all but the index finger of his right hand. La ilaha ila Allah from the time of his birth!
• Every animal in talked on day of birth - they said she is carrying rasool allah and he is lord of ka'aba
• Every bed belonging to a king was flipped upside down
• All of the statues were upside down, a sign that the worship of One God would reign
• The year of his blessed birth was a year of opening, year of happiness. It was very green, as there was lots of food and rain, after years of drought
  
  
  

*Exact wording taken from "Muhammad: His Life Based on the Earliest Sources" by Martin Lings

inductions

The other day I realized that I now mark time in terms of babies born. July 2008 brought Maryam, Omar, Julian, and Sofia. If I want to think back to say November 2009, I think of Asiya, Malachi, and Caroline. Living in a season-less California, births mark times and seasons more concretely than weather can. It would be a lie to say that they always arrived at the most convenient times, when my cold was gone, on the weekends when babysitting is free, or at a civilized hour. No. Babies come when they are meant to come. As much as I would like, I have no control over when that hour descends. Even now as I write this, a sunny weekend approaching, I am hesitant to make plans as I am waiting on a baby.

If I were another type of practitioner, maybe I would consider inducing this client. It would be nice to have it out of the way, with a free weekend sprawling before me. If so, I wouldn't be so off the mark. In 2007, a large study of 18,000 deliveries found that 9.6% were early births ('early' was not defined in this study), and the reasons for them being early were non-medical, i.e. practitioner or patient convenience. Indeed according to the Center for Disease Control sources, the average length of pregnancy has fallen by seven days since 1992!

No one really knows what kicks off labor. What I understand is that their is a complex interplay of mother and baby hormones that each tell the other that the time is near. Mom's cervix softens, telling baby's lungs to mature. Baby's lungs mature and mom's uterus develops more receptors for oxytocin, the hormone that makes the uterus contract among other things. Like all other bodily processes, it is hard to isolate it from the whole, and interference often shows up in other ways later.

This thought provoking look at early elective births by California Watch looks at the reasons why inducing early for non medical reasons is now thought to be contributing to poor maternal and infant mortality rates in America. There is a reason babies play a major role in deciding when they are born. A 2009 New England Journal of Medicine study found that elective cesarean sections resulted in respiratory and other adverse outcomes for neonates. The brain, eyes, and nervous systems all are formed in the third trimester. According to California Watch babies born early through C-section and/or induction are nearly twice as likely to spend time in the neo-natal intensive care unit.

How can women prevent this scenario? Show any of the above information to your doctor. Like an old college friend of mine threatened with induction at 41 weeks asked, "How can I go nine months with perfectly health pregnancy, and NOW all of a sudden I'm high risk?!" Good question. She answered it by delivering at 41 and a half weeks, a perfectly healthy baby girl, au natural. Here are some tips for preventing post-dates.

• Drink lots of red raspberry leaf tea throughout the pregnancy. I can't say enough on this wonderful uterine tonic. It provides all of the minerals a healthy uterus needs to do it's job.

• Walk, especially hills. I'm not sure what it is about hills, but many women claim that this helps them deliver a baby. Being fit, a side effect, may be what helps to prevent post dates.

• Have sex. Yes, as the old adage goes, what gets the baby in gets the baby out. Semen contains prostaglandins which help soften the cervix. An orgasm cannot occur without oxytocin, once again, the hormone which causes contractions.
  

• Visualization can help relax you and allow your mind to turn off. Sit in a quiet, undisturbed place and visualize a head down baby, distending the cervix and rotating down and out of the pelvis.

• I haven't seen research on this, more of a hunch, but I think that adequate healthy fat intake in the third trimester can cook a baby just right! We know that healthy fats are needed for baby's brain development and that the most brain development happens in the waning weeks of the third trimester. It would seem to me that if baby is getting what he needs in terms of development, there will be no need to leave early, or hang on too late in order to soak up the nutrients. Eat lots of eggs, fish, meat. Supplementation of fish oil will do in a pinch, but best to get it straight from the source.
  

Sometimes inductions are unavoidable, even necessary. I suggest these final things only as a means to naturally induce labor when an induction is unavoidable. Use with wisdom.

• A homeopathic induction of Cimicifuga and Caulophyllum is a gentle way to start labor. Take one remedy every half hour for three hours, alternating the remedy each half hour. Do this every morning until labor commences. The strength should be 200C

• Herbal inductions can be used as well. Black and blue cohosh along with cottonroot are a potent mix of uterine stimulating herbs. A half dropper of each every hour for three hours. I have heard some herbalists comment that this isn't enough because our bodies metabolize herbs quickly. Consult with a person who knows if my recommendation isn't enough.

• Acupressure points that you can squeeze yourself are also effective. The two I like are located in the webbing between your thumb and index finger and the other four finger widths above the inside of your ankle bone.
  

• And finally, there is the dreaded castor oil. This is a last ditch resort. Castor oil makes for a messy birth. In fact, that the whole reason it works, it irritates your bowels, thereby irritating your uterus, or so the theory goes. I have seen it work many times. A castor oil milkshake is one way to tolerate it. 2oz of castor oil, some ice cream, and some juice. Drink it up!

As the Bible says (I'm paraphrasing), to everything there is a season, this includes babies. I rather like that my years and seasons are marked by a soul's entrance and not by my vacations or plans. Inductions can have long lasting effects on mother and baby. It's best to wait for the dance of hormones to begin. Just like we can't force the long days of summer, or rush the chill or winter, neither should we unduly force a baby's birth. To everything there is a season. I can't think of a better reason to put off my plans than a birth, so for this weekend, I'll stick around here and maybe next year I'll think back to February 2011 and remember the particular way the sun fell as a baby, for now nameless, was born.

Fear Causes Tears

Fear causes tears, perineal tears that is. This is the conclusion of a new study out of Sweden. The study looked at perineal tearing in home birth settings. What they found was that midwives prevent tears long before the birth actually occurs. They do this through a number of means, but the overriding theme, strong communication between the mother and midwife. Then when the pushing phase is underway, they have an already established relationship and a trust. If pushing needs to be slowed down, if the midwife needs to tell the mother to blow through a few contractions to ease the head out, it's fine because the mother and her midwife have a bond which they both can rely on in this intense moment. The mother can then relax, her pelvic floor muscles can relax too, she can push without fear into the trusted hands of her midwife.

The other areas which the study found important in preventing vaginal tears amongst a home birth population were:


1. Preparing for the birth

2. Going along with the physiological process

3. Creating sense of security

4. The critical moment

5. Midwifery skills


Another great reason to consider midwifery care. Your bottom will thank you!!

Naitree enchantee

This is such a beautiful film! It is birth with acceptance and without fear. It's simplicity speaks volumes. It is in Arabic, French, Spanish and English. The labor is enchanting and her vocalizations through contractions are musical. Gentle, peaceful, spontaneous, and joyous - a birth to be watched by all women. My favorite part is the cat ears poking up towards the pushing phase! Enjoy and happy holidays!

Another Homebirth Video

The Homebirth of Lucia Mae from Sara Janssen on Vimeo.

This video has some darling , colorful pictures. I love the portrayal of the daughter's role in her sister's birth. It is also a testimony to the family's affection for their midwife, she's like a part of the family! To read more on the lasting impression a midwife makes through a woman's lifetime (i.e. beyond the childbearing years), check this out, Midwifery Care: Reflections of Midwifery Clients. Be sure to download the full text.

Labor Popsicles and Lactation Cookies

Eid Mubarak! Maybe because the past few days have been all about food, I've decided to bring you a food post, replete with recipes! Let's start with the labor pops. This is a simple way to stay both hydrated, and nourished throughout labor. Many women experience nausea with contractions, and these labor pops are a great way to head that off. The coolness is also refreshing and easy to take in.

You'll need:

1-2 oz of dried red raspberry leaf
1 quart of water
Quart size jar with lid
Honey and lemon to taste
2-3 1mg calcium tablets
ice tray

To make the labor pops, steep 1-2 ounces of red raspberry leaf in a quart of water for at least 20 minutes up to four hours. Strain and sweeten with lots of honey and lemon, these will add much needed calories and lemon can help ease the nausea (as well as the red raspberry leaf). Crush the calcium tablets and add to the tea. Calcium is a muscle relaxant and can help with some aches and pains during labor. Pour the mixture into the ice tray. When labor commences, eat throughout the labor. They really are easy to eat when nothing else sounds to good!


Lactation cookies purportedly can increase and/or maintain milk supply. I find them more of an excuse to eat cookies, but, oh what a great excuse! They are also nice to just have around to snack on, or take with you while on the go; an easy way to up your calorie intake while nursing. And they happen to taste really, really good. Here is a recipe that I like and that makes enough to feed everyone in your house. Just don't tell them they are 'lactation cookies'!

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 4 tablespoons water
• 2 tablespoons flax seed meal
• 2 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 3 cups oats
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• 2 -4 tablespoons brewer's yeast

1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Mix the flaxseed meal and water and let sit for 3-5 minutes.
3. Beat butter, sugar, and brown sugar well.
4. Add eggs and mix well.
5. Add flaxseed mix and vanilla, beat well.
6. Sift together flour, brewers yeast, baking soda, and salt.
7. Add dry ingredients to butter mix.
8. Stir in oats and chips.
9. Scoop onto baking sheet.
10. Bake for 12 minutes.
11. Let set for a couple minutes then remove from tray.

I hope you enjoy these recipes as much as I have! Finally, here's a beautifully portrayed home birth of one Leo Hart. Scroll down to see the video, it's well worth it. Have a great weekend!
















photo: watermelon and cucumber popsicles by rakka and cookies by ilmungo

Birthing With Reverence

img_2798 by eyeliam



I found the following passage, about birthing with reverence from midwife Carolina Wise, to be eloquent and thoughtful. She does a wonderful job of extrapolating our current state of our highly technological maternity care system to our understanding of the meaning of sacred in society. May we all be more reverent. Birth is a litmus test for a society's treatment of women and for it's application of the sacred. A rising 32.8% Cesarean rate (and rising) leaves much to be said for America's view of women.

Birthing with Reverence

Midwives can create a spirit of beauty at a birth or they can desecrate it. They can create a sacred space around a birthing woman that drives out fear and inspires the mother’s belief in herself, which ultimately determines the outcome of the birth. Midwives can be a channel of Grace in ways they never imagined and in doing so they create a spirit of reverence. Reverence in these days and times is not a common thing.

As a midwife there were times after births that I was overcome with awe, which is another term for reverence. It seemed appropriate for the sun to stand still in the sky, and the traffic to stop, and the whole universe to pause for a minute of awe in acknowledgement [sic] that something astonishing had just happened. It just seemed appropriate that all of creation should have taken notice. Perhaps, in the unseen world, it did.

Unfortunately in America there appears to be little reverence for much, especially not women or birth. This is not surprising given the history of the oppression of midwives, the rise of the medical model and the objectification of women’s bodies. The sacred has not just been drowned out at births but in our lives as a whole. In fact, reverence is not part of our public vocabulary at all. Yet, there are a few things that Americans do revere. Reverence for money comes to mind.

If you follow where the money goes it will reveal the short list of things that Americans do have reverence for. Large amounts of money are funneled into the pornography industry. Women are not revered in that industry. In fact, they are desecrated as an object of fantasy, not to be loved, cherished and honored, but simply to be used and discarded. Therefore, lust is revered, and as a result we have become a pornographic culture in which women are routinely desecrated.

Desecration involves an act in which a sacred thing is pillaged, or dishonored. The opposite of desecration is reverence. Reverence acknowledges and honors the sacred. Women and that which has to do with them, namely birth, are sacred. But they are not sacred at this place and this time. In fact, who among all the industrialized nations are reverent about women and what they do when they give birth?

Midwives have been given a sacred trust and a great honor to stand by as a witness to a miracle. Birth is not a small miracle. It is an extraordinary miracle. We are created for reverence and our work demands it. But when birth became a medical procedure our culture became so far removed from the beauty of it that it became commonplace and unimportant to the larger community. In the process of our irreverence we lost sight of our beauty as human beings.

— Caroline Wise
Excerpted from "Birthing with Reverence," Midwifery Today, Issue 82

Home Birth on the Rise

on Flickr - by christyscherrer

Using birth certificate data from around the United States during 1990-2006, the CDC has just released a report on Trends in Out of Hospital Birth. It is a promising report detailing the uptake in out of hospital births in 2005 and sustained in 2006. Here are a few interesting and encouraging findings:

• Home births were less likely than hospital births to be preterm, low birth weight, or multiple deliveries.
• An increase in out of hospital birth also took place in Canada in the years studied.
• Women who are non-Hispanic white, over 25, and married, were more likely to have an out of hospital birth.
• Women born outside of the US were less likely to have an out of hospital birth than those born in the US.
• In 2006 64.7% of the out of hospital birth were home births and 28% took place in freestanding birth centers.
• 61% of home births were delivered by midwives - 16% by Certified Nurse Midwives and 45% by other midwives (which would most likely be Certified Professional Midwives, although the report doesn't specifically state their titles)

I hope this upward trend in out of hospital birth continues. For healthy moms and babes, there is nothing more joyful and empowering than welcoming your baby into this world, in the comfort and serenity of one's own home. For more information on midwives in your area, check out the Midwives Alliance of North America website, where you can search for a qualified midwife in your area and learn more about the Certified Professional Midwife educational process. Happy birthing to you all!!

From War to the Womb

This is an excerpt from a new film out about my favorite midwifery organization's efforts to bring Palestine and Israeli midwives together. It's unbelievable to think that a Palestinian woman has to wait 3-4 hours to reach her midwife because of checkpoints. I wonder why there are not more home births that happen there. I've blogged about these efforts before, but I think this clip is comprehensive in detailing the problems of the two countries midwives, how they are similar and how they differ.


COHI Coexistence Project
Uploaded by aldermanjessica. - Have a look at more lifestyle videos.


In other midwifery inspirations, I wanted to include this quote that was recently posted at the Citizens for Midwifery blog. I think it is a testament to the beauty of midwifery care, home birth, etc... Shouldn't we be striving for this beauty in our lives, even in birth?



While shopping [one] day, I noticed hand-dipped chocolates, homegrown vegetables, hand-spun wool, homemade preserves, cottage-industry soaps—all at premium prices, since they were made with care, individually, by hand, at home. I reflected, too, on how "old-fashioned" doctors, famous for house calls and compassion, are remembered fondly as part of the "good old days" and praised for their one-on-one caring. I mused how our society honors unique, special, one-of-a-kind items and services.

Yet when it comes to maternity care, it seems the bigger and busier, the better: high-tech procedures, standardized treatment, massive patient loads, in-and-out, assembly-line-style facilities. We are urged to leave the clean peace and quiet of home and go, instead, to a large, centralized center and entrust ourselves to a system of detached and often distracted institutional workers whom we've never met and may never see again. I find it hard to believe that anyone would consider hospital care preferable, if they really thought about it.

High-tech or hands-on? The choice is not new. In many cases, of course, mechanical and technological advances have been just that: improvements. Other advances, as we all know too well, have resulted in lasting harm.

— Judy Edmunds, excerpted from "A Grand Triumph," Midwifery Today Issue 37

Birth Story - Baby Abdurahman

By Faraz_Ilu

This moving birth story is from a mother, Umm Abdullah, who had a C-section for her first, and a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) in a birth center for her second. Umm Abdullah was incredibly educated and persistent in her decision making around her VBAC birth and it was thrill to be able to aid her on this healing journey.It was a joyous day for all when little Abdurahman arrived! She was blessed to have the resources available to her to achieve the VBAC, unfortunately, many in this country are not so lucky and are forced to have repeat Cesarean surgeries. Recently, though the tides have been changing and there has been a lot of attention given to allowing more VBACs in America. Newsweek recently documented the changing attitudes about VBACs and the National Institute for Health has just convened a conference all about VBACs. You can read the results of that conference here and a NYT summary here. And now, the birth story....

Ar-Rahman's Gift

by Umm Abdullah

My second son, Abdurahman, was a gift from Ar-Rahman, as was his birth.

My first son, Abdullah, was born via c-section. Despite an un-medicated labor in which I even refused the IV, and an hour and a half of pushing, Allah willed that he come into this world with the help of surgical intervention. Alhamdulillah, he was a healthy and beautiful baby with a purple, cone-shaped head, and he latched-on to the breast vigorously despite the one hour interlude from the time of his birth until I could hold him in my arms. I brought him home with a sense of gratefulness to Allah for blessing me with His gift, yet I could not shake the sense of dissapointment that I had in not being able to birth naturally. I started to research VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) in those early post-partum days.

Almost exactly two years later my husband and I were blessed with another pregnancy. I knew that this time I would do things differently. I researched and searched, and realized that the best way to give myself a chance at a successful VBAC was to avoid the hospital. In the hospital, interventions are used routinely, and often times not out of real medical necessity. These unnecessary interventions interfere with the natural birth process and lead to unnatural results. Plus many women who gave birth in non-hospital settings, such as birth centers and at home, wrote of such amazing, positive birth experiences. I contacted a midwife named Shannon, a Muslima alhamdulillah, who works in a birth center, and my husband and I decided to meet her and tour the center. From the moment I met her I knew that I wanted her to be the one to help me deliver my baby, biithnillah. She is my sister in Islam and I was blessed to have her there for me from the start of my pregnancy, alhamdulillah.

One morning three weeks before my due date I was laying in bed reading stories of natural births when I felt a lot of pressure and more 'contractions' than the day before. I called Shannon and the rest of the day I noticed more and more pressure and contractions. Sure enough, by evening time I began contracting rhythmically and they were becoming more painful. I mustered up the energy to do a light cleaning of the house, packed my bag, and my husband and I drove to my in-law's house. We stayed there all night. My contractions were getting more intense but I took my midwife's advice to lay down on my side and try to get as much sleep as I could. This is the best piece of advice I can give to a woman in early labor: Don't get excited, sleep as much as you can! Towards fajr time it was very difficult for me to get any rest but I let my husband sleep some more because I knew he would need the rest. I took a shower which was very soothing. Some family members came in the morning and took my older son out and my husband and I headed to the birth center. We arrived there around 11 am and upon checking me Shannon said I was already almost eight centimeters dilated, Allahu Akbar - that was wonderful news!

We settled into a birthing suite (I picked the blue one). My doula arrived at the same time we did, and for the next few hours my husband and my doula did an amazing job of helping me through my contractions with massage, moral and physical support, and lots of liquids and yummy snacks. Every contraction was getting stronger and I was using breath awareness along with visualization to help me through. I thought about Maryam (alayha salaam) and how she did it all alone. Allah, aza wa jel, helped her and I knew He would help me too. He, subhanahu wa t'ala, would not give me more than I can bear (that's a promise from Him!). It was so wonderful to eat and drink as I pleased (which you are not allowed to do in the hospital), to try different positions without being strapped to beeping machines or with something poking you in the arm, and to have complete privacy. The only man that was there was my husband and it was a very intimate and comfortable environment, a requirement for natural labor. Standing up and holding on to a birth ball on the bed was my position of choice. Every time I would squat another contraction would come and this position allowed me to have some control over the contractions. My midwives were checking the baby's heart rate intermittently with a stethoscope and testing my urine hourly, and I felt that was in such good hands, alhamdulillah.

My contractions were becoming extremely intense and I knew I was in the transition phase. The intensity of the contractions made me feel overwhelmed, and the midwives recommended I try the birthing tub for relaxation. As the water to fill the tub was flowing my water burst and I knew the baby was coming. I called out to Shannon and she placed a birthing stool under me. I held on to the sides of the stool and began to push. Nervously I asked whether I should be pushing even when there is no contraction and Shannon told me to do whatever felt right for me. That was a sort of mantra during the labor and it was such a wonderful and intuitive piece of advice, advice that I would never have gotten in the hospital. I pushed as I felt was right and before long the baby's head was almost out. In fact, I only pushed for ten minutes before he was born. The last push was intense but when Abdurahman came out and was given to me I felt sheer elation (along with relief). His little body felt so sweet against my chest.

Not once during my labor or delivery did I think about another cesarean. Allah, ta'ala, took that concept out of my mind completely, alhamdulillah. I was surrounded by caring, warm people whom I knew and who sincerely wanted the best for me and my baby. Undoubtedly it was hard work, but in the end I was blessed with an experience that I would never forget or want to change. Subhan'Allah, what a blessing from Ar-Rahman.

Interview - Hakim Archuletta

Hakim Archuletta is a healer in the true sense of the word. His knowledge of human nature on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level is profound. To read more of his extensive bio, click here. We are blessed to know him, and thrilled that he agreed to share his thoughts with us on women, birth, and pregnancy. I hope you enjoy the interview as much as I did! Many thanks to Hakim!

1) Tell us, in general, what you have learned about women through your work. The thing that I have seen most through the many years is the courage that women have and the strength that they have that they are often not aware of. More recently [I have seen], the willingness, the kind of enthusiasm for change and growth that they seem more connected to than men. So it seems that they more easily can make changes and are able to change with this goal and understanding that growth is part of their natural life force, and it demands a courage to face oneself; I’ve learned over the years that they do this more easily than men. Along with that, generally speaking, the strength that women have is inherent in their woman-ness, or their femininity, or whatever term. They are closer and find it more easy to be real and on the ground and grounded and connected than men. The other thing I have discovered is that they have taken up the slack that has been left by men who have not taken on the responsibility in the world for being men. So this strength that I have seen in women is more evident that in men. Men really have a fear of this strength. That fear is very often hidden and creates the need in men to control and to dominate. Woman’s kind of generosity in knowing that in many cases—and managing it anyway—is remarkable. And the patience and the tolerance that woman have for the weakness of men is part of the qualities they have as women.

2) Do you think women understand that they have this inner strength? Sometimes

they do, sometimes they don’t. They do unconsciously in many cases. They have the wisdom to know they can’t command their husband to do something. They can’t be “in charge,” but sneak the information in so he doesn’t know they are actually teaching him. The other thing I’ve learned is that cultures have not been—across the board whether they are Muslim, Arab, Pakistani, American—cultures are really off balance, and the real place of women even in this country is not really in place for the most part at all. And mostly that is because men have not stepped up to bat in the modern times. Rather they have let it go.

3)What kinds of issues specific to women do you feel affect their births? I think this basic configuration that I just described affects women deeply. They have not learned in many cases to trust what they know—and what they know in a more biological way for starters by being connected and grounded and real. Biological intelligence. And so they have been taught to believe that their knowledge is not real, that their emotions, for example, are their weakness according to cultures, whereas their emotions are their strength and force and foundation of knowledge. They don’t trust that; if they trusted that, everything would be better for them, including their birth. We are an unhealthy society top to bottom—education, politics, health, and finally in terms of our deaths—and all of this is not being addressed, little pieces, yes, but changing the whole kind of juggernaut in this world is daunting. My prayer is that Allah does not heal us with calamity and disasters like He heals individuals. Individuals are sometimes healed by disaster, calamity, grave illness, and so on. So childbirth should be completely re-thought. The hospital is not a healthy pace in terms of energy, in terms of everything a newborn needs, in terms of touch and smell, natural environment, air, light, energies. Traditionally, the advice that the hakims gave to pregnant women—and I have pregnant women who always ask me what to do you advise: First of all respect and honor what you have in terms of your natural mammalian capabilities in you. And if you give them their proper due, you want to have a setting that is safe. Every mammal does this. The closer they get to the birth, [they acquire] this need for the security of place. The traditional hakim is saying is during pregnancy, you surround yourself with good people and spiritual people and things that bring inspiration to you. Going to the awliya and having good energies surrounding you during the pregnancy is more important than any multi-vitamin for sure. Also, my advice when you are pregnant, is to be sure that you bring things to the table as a couple and address the unresolved issues as much as you can. You want love to be the primary nourishment for the child in the womb. Love is going to be the most valuable nutrient that it will get. Love, passion, lots of touching, lots of closeness, all those things that enhance the biological being, and singing … I love the tradition of an African tribe where the mother, each month of the pregnancy she composes a new line, she adds a line each month, until she has nine months of a song. So the child has a song, and when the child gets sick or hurt, she sings the song to him. The community as well sings the song to the child. Imagine the impact of this on the child, his nervous system, etc…

3. You have experienced home birth as a father. Can you tell us what that was like for you? I delivered my first son—following that I kind of had the realization that there is an energy that women have and that men have and that the birthing event is best conducted by women. Birthing belongs to the realm of women more than it does than to the realm of men. And so I actually tried to encourage women to take part in the births of my children as much possible, although I was present in many cases. I think if it were a homebirth, the sense of empowerment I think it has more do with recognition on a man’s part, the ability for him to recognize and on some level to grasp to some degree the awesome event of a birth. We have a tendency to abstract, and birthing drives home very dramatically that this is a life coming into being—because it so dramatic and so powerful, I would pray that insha’Allah men would have that ability without necessarily being present at birth. The best births tend to happen at home, and if there are women around that are supportive and they are reciting Qur’an and singing … my wife was doing the hadra right up to the birth. This is a very powerful thing to do in terms of preparing for birth. She would have half-hour labors. My daughter had two-hour labors. I asked her what would you attribute this to; she said childbirth is not hard, it’s easy because it's so natural. Yes, there is pain, yes, there is struggle, yes, there is stress … she actually uses that term, easy. The biggest thing is not buying in to the misogyny by men that describes childbirth as “the most painful thing that a person can go through.” That’s part of what I said in the first place. Men have a fear of woman. They love their mothers, but fear the power of women. The power to create—that’s much more than we men can ever take part in, the majesty of that. So keeping them [women] as these passive servants is an antidote for that. Making childbirth hard, all that comes in the same bundle of misunderstanding the strength and power that women hold ….

4. I have seen that hospital births have the potential to disrupt early bonding between mother and child. Meanwhile, it seems that much of the trauma you see originates in the relationship between mother and child. Can home birth play a preventative role? It is pretty clear to everybody that initial bonding, that intital touch,

establishes the foundational principle of resilience, and the ability to have a sense of security. That lack of security is one of the causes for so much emotional illness and physical illness in the mdoern world. Looking back historically there were times they would take child away from mother, there was a time that the colostrum of the mother was believed to not be clean, that baby should not suckle. All of these bizarre distortions of our basic nature. So bonding, genuine presence of mother and father, is the key to healthy stability in the persona and the development of resiliency of that child, the strengthening of the nervous system. Allah is generous so he gives mother-ness in many forms in his creation, even if the mother was not able to have the contact that they wanted with the child. The birth practice the more natural it is, the more pleasant the surrounding, there is beauty present. We cannot underestimate how important beauty is in our lives. Take the hospital, how it looks—already you are in trouble. Beauty is a real thing. It's not just aesthetics. This is something we lost, we have this idea that these things are not important to us in terms of our well being. So beginning with the birth process, this establishes our resiliance and ability to feel safe in the world, to have the nervous system function fully is important to our spiritual well being.

5. Can you recommend any somatic exercises that might help women prepare for birth? The more present one can be in body from the very beginning is important. This naturally wants to happen in pregnancy anyway, so the body will do things to make you present. Birthing is actually a somatic demand to be present, isn’t it? If I was giving advice, the exercises of awareness would be the first exercises [I would recommend]. These exercises establish their sense of standing on their two feet, of their legs carrying the weight of their body. [The are about] learning how to stand and establishing standing or re-establishing a sense of standing. Number two, becoming aware of the body's responses to everything the person encounters. How do you feel when this happens, what happens in you body when you walk into a Wal-Mart, when you walk into a rose garden? Become more aware of the standing in your body with your consciousness in the world. And then the awareness of breathing and the ability and development of this awareness, along with the flexibility of movement during the pregnancy. So the breath is full and complete. All of that breath and oxygen is free to travel through the body as fast as possible. There are more specific excercies that have to do with flexibility and presence that can enable one to relax so there is an easy letting go of the cervix and dilation that one can have …

In summary back to some of these things I started with. Women: learn to trust what you know inherently. Find how you can reach those things, trust them, and use them to live by. They call it women’s intuition, but more than that, it’s what Allah gave them. Its our inherent biological system, our nervous system, on mammalian level, a human level.

Picture Credits - Hakim Archuletta from www.islamondemand.com

Ethiopian Woman - babasteve flickr.com

Father and Baby - modenadude flickr.com

Sultan Ahmet - rmx flickr.com

Sayyida Fatima az-Zahra

The following is an inspiring and rare account of the birth of Sayyida Fatima az-Zahra (May Allah be pleased with her). I'm not sure of it's authenticity, but still, from it there are a couple of wisdoms which can be distilled. You can read the entire account here.

When the time of the delivery of Sayyidah Khadijah (Radhi Allahu Ta’ala ‘Anha) was near at hand, she sent for several of her relatives to aid her on that occasion; but as she incurred their displeasure by marrying the Holy Nabi (Sall Allahu alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallim), they would not comply with her request, so that she was much distressed. Nevertheless, four women, resembling those of the tribe of Bani Hashim, suddenly made their appearance, and Khadijah was afraid of them. One of them, however said: "Fear not, for Allah the Most High has sent us to you. We are your visitors. I am Sarah; this is Maryam, the daughter of Imran; the third is Kalthum, the sister of Musa; and the fourth is Asiyah, the wife of Pharaoh. They will be your companions in Paradise" Then one of these women sat down on the right and another on the left of Sayyidah Khadijah (Radhi Allahu Ta’ala ‘Anha), the third in her front, and the fourth in her rear until Sayyidatina Fatimah (Radhi Allahu Ta’ala ‘Anha) was born. When this took place a light shone from that infant of laudable end, which encircled the houses of Makkah from the east and west, so that there was no spot in any house which was not illuminated by that light.

It's striking how Khadija (May Allah be content with her), in this story, had the desire to have companions during her birth. A natural, human instinct, and perhaps one we have lost. In parts of the Muslim world, birth is still a female, communal event. Women come together to read sacred poetry and Qur'an for the laboring mother and her child. They support her with their hearts and their physical presence. I wonder what kind of community we would have here in the West, if we were to draw near to one another and our Creator in that spirit? Women here largely birth alone, with just their husbands, and often with strangers. It would be nice to see Muslims bring back humanity to the birthing process.

Similar to how we might imagine that the contraction is a wave we are riding, or a mountain climbed, I think that the image in this story, of being surrounded by righteous women can also be a powerful visualization for labor. Imagine their purity, righteousness and faith surrounding you as you labor, not leaving your side until the baby is born. When the contractions begins to crest, imagine yourself surrounded by the strength of Sarah, Maryam, Kulthum, and Assiya (May Allah's mercy be upon them all). What serenity there is in that image. May it bring you serenity!

Birth Story - Baby Khadija

Birth Night by Onur YILDIRUM

The following is a birth story from a mother who had had two previous hospital births, this was her first home birth. Sara is a new mother with a full home schooling schedule,which doesn't leave her much time to write out her story! Therefore, we have decided to collaborate on this birth story, which is written from my perspective with encouragement and permission from Sara. Sara’s impressions about the differences between her hospital birth and her home birth are below in italics.

Having a home birth was such a beautiful experience for me. Before my home birth I had two hospital births. Having a home birth for me was relaxing. I didn’t have to deal with all the needle poking that you do in a hospital. I was able to have everything natural, no drug interferences. Being at home I can be free to do what I want, to be comfortable. In labor, I was able to get into any position that was comfortable for me. There is a special bond that you feel with your baby when you have it at home. This bond I didn’t feel with my other two. I feel this extreme attachment to my baby. My husband experienced the same feeling as well. I felt secure in my house, not having any disturbances, being able to eat my own food and to have my family with me.

On Thursday night Sara called. She said her contractions were every 15 minutes continually throughout the day. This was her third baby, first home birth. And of course, this labor was shaping up to be completely unlike the first two.

“Take a nice, warm bath. Relax, unwind, and then try to get some rest,” I told her. “You could have your baby on jummah” I said, “or on Sunday. It’s best to just ignore these types of contractions. They often happen the more babies a woman has. They could go on for days, or you could have your baby tonight. We never know, but it’s wise to conserve your energy for whenever the hard labor arises.” Sara sounded reassured and so we hung up. I slept a full eight hours. In the morning I called Sara to check in.

“I had the best nights’ sleep I’ve had in months!” she exclaimed. I asked her if it was the shower. Sara explained that after her shower she laid down on the bed, not expecting to sleep. Her husband was reading the burda and she lay quietly, turning inward, and listening. Soon, it’s notes and cadences lulled her into a blissful, uninterrupted sleep. She didn’t even wake to readjust her pillows, something she had been doing for months! What baraka our Prophet (peace be upon him) has!

A sunny Friday came and went, and that night I called to check back in with Sara. She sounded discouraged, not like her normal cheerful presence. When I enquired about her state, she said she was frustrated and had had the same on again off again contractions all day. She just didn’t know what this was, it was so different than her other labors. We talked at length about never being in control of the process of labor, and that each labor is different just like each child is different. Although I think that the most reassuring advice to Sara was that, all of this was not for naught. That something was happening with every contraction or cramp she was feeling. It was maybe not measurable progress, but a sign that her hormones and their receptors were working just fine and that her uterus certainly knew how to contract, a sure reminder of the perfection of the process.

Now, I had the best night’s sleep! The trilling of my phone did not punctuate my sleep! I was sure it would because I had something I really wanted to do the following day. We had planned a nice hike for the day. Alhamdulillah we were able to go and it was beautiful, long, and muddy.

At 7:56 Saturday night, my phone rang. Before I picked it up I knew that this was it. “Shannon, my water just broke!” Sara said. We celebrated over the phone. Now this was like her other labors, she was on seemingly familiar territory. Eat, sleep, and be happy I advised. Call when you need me or when something changes.

3:45 a.m. Sunday morning Sarah calls to tell me her contractions are now 4-5 minutes apart and that she is calling her doula over. She doesn’t need me yet she says. I listen through a contraction or two, she sounds like a professional, no tension or anxiety, just pure acceptance. It sounds like it’s on the early side of labor as well, so I stumble back to bed, proud, and reassured by Sara’s new calmness.

5:00 a.m. Sarah’s doula phones me. She sounds excited and explains that Sara’s contractions are now 2-3 minutes apart lasting for a minute! That was so fast. I throw on my birth clothes and jump in the car. It’s beginning to drizzle and Sara lives 20 miles down the highway from me. I don’t want to speed, but her labor has already flown through it’s ‘stages’, and the calls keep coming.

“She’s singing through her contractions now.”

“She’s feeling pushy at the peak”

“Drive careful, but are you almost here?”

It’s always better not to speed, to arrive in one piece, but it’s so hard when the adrenaline is rushing and you really, really don’t want to miss the birth. I had already phoned the midwife who is assisting me and told her to leave as soon as possible. I am making urgent du’a that it all goes well, and that I’m present for the birth. Sara’s exit had never looked so good to me.

I had her husband come and meet me. I brought up one bag which has an emergency delivery kit, just the basics you need to deliver a baby, which in reality, is not that much. What a contrast Sara’s birthing space was. It was an oasis of calm to my rushed frenetic pace. I took a deep breath and exhaled to attune myself to her birthing energy. I said hello, gave her a hug, and asked if she felt like pushing. She said that she did and so I told her to go for it… after I got my gloves on and listened to the baby's heart rate!

Alas, there was no need for the rush after all. The night became day. We opened the blinds, snacked on bagels and dates from Medina, and drank Zam Zam. Meanwhile, Sara went through second stage, all two and a half hours of it. For all of that pushing, not once did Sara utter a complaint, not once did she ask when it would be over, not once did she grumble even. She took each contraction as it came, she took our suggestions with grace and compliance, and when the miraculous moment of birth came, she was fully present to receive her little bundle. All of those days of contractions did make a difference after all, maybe not in the length or speed of the labor (or maybe so!), but in Sara’s willingness and preparation to take each contraction as it came, and not to anticipate anything. By the time the hard part of labor found her, she was ready.

It was a joyous birth, still and hopeful. Sara’s older daughters were milling about downstairs. And the rain was just beginning to pick up. Little Khadija had arrived and brought with her the rains. Which was just fine with her family, because all they wanted to do was stay indoors and adore her anyhow. Welcome little Khadija!!

Welcome to Hakima Midwifery!!

Pregnancy B&W portrait by Taqu

A salaam u alaikum and welcome to the Hakima Midwifery blog! I am a Licensed Midwife in Oakland, California. I have noticed that within the Muslim community there is interest in out of hospital birth, but there is also hesitancy and a skepticism. Through this blog I hope to show not only the safety of out of hospital birth, but also the desirability of it. I have been blessed to have my own home birth, and to attend Muslims at home as well as in a freestanding birth center. I believe we have a large body of wisdom amongst us and it is my hope that this forum can be a resource for collecting and building upon that. There is a resonance between the sacredness of a birth and Islam, a tradition wherein even the most mundane is elevated to the sacred. I believe that the sanctity of a new life is often best preserved at home with little intervention. It is in this setting, with the mother in her own comfortable surroundings, monitored by trained midwives, allowed to move freely, and eat or drink, that the amazing expression of Allah's attributes through birth can be recognized. Birth stories from Muslimahs, interviews with Muslim doulas, midwives, childbirth educators and scholars, relevant articles and informative posts on pregnancy, birth and breast feeding will all be included. Insha'Allah this can be of benefit to the families of this ummah. Stay tuned and please feel free to contact me with any questions or with your own birth stories. You can find out more information about me and my midwifery practice at www.hakimamidwifery.com Blessings!