Eat, Drink and Be Content - My Birth Story

The gray area of when labor starts is rarely heralded by a neat "5 min apart, lasting 1 minute, for at least 1 hour", otherwise known as 511, but, shhh, don't tell my midwifery clients.  As a midwife, I can tell it in the puffed faces of my beautiful mothers, their mental desperation and physical distress at a state that is starting to feel timeless. As a mother, I recognize it in myself when I start to burn things in the kitchen, consistently, each meal is somehow derailed, for days.  My mind is incredibly present, but not.  It is the outward manifestation of the internal contradiction, in the the invariable discomforts of late pregnancy, I somehow find myself yearning for escape though the rhythmic pain of contractions.

I have just felt three contractions in a half hour.  They squeeze my middle, forcing me to sway my hips and breathe.  The baby even pauses its passes at my ribs, seeming to wonder at the new sensations too.  I call my husband at work, wanting him to be on alert in case he has to come quick.  The kitchen is inside out with half finished projects, coconut date balls need to be rolled and dipped in coconut, salsa needs to be chopped and bottled, there's milk cooling for yogurt, beans bubbling for tonight's enchiladas, and a sink full of the evidence.  It's at least an hour or two of work, and my labors rarely last that long.  My mind is swimming between before and after. Now, I'm a pregnant mother preparing her family for her postpartum rest. After, I'm on the other side of this great battle called labor.

I've been advised by many to listen to Surah Maryam (the Chapter of Mary) during labor.  It is what fits right now.  I plug in my phone to the speakers.  "Kaf Ha Ya Ain Sad" rings out of the dainty speakers and reverberates through my entire being on such a physical level, that I  grab the counters edge and sink down to the kitchen floor.  The soothing words and rhythm continue to wash over me melding the before and after of this fragile expectant mother.  I am reminded that if I die, I am a martyr, receiving the same spiritual status as a holy warrior.  I weep for a forgiveness I didn't know needed forgiving. It feels like the shedding of a self, one that needs to yield in order for a momentous event to occur.

My son overhears the weeping and asks, "Are you having contractions?"  Yes, I answer him, noting mentally, that no, I haven't felt them since I called my husband half an hour ago, but there is no other explanation for my unraveling in the kitchen, so I do what most mothers do and opt for expediency.  I hear him tell his sister that the baby is coming.  I am once again grounded by my sweet children.  The dates need to be pitted.  I hit 'translate' on the Qur'an app on my phone.  The ayah (verse) that is playing at that moment, that pops into my phone's screen, is like a Divine answer to my misgivings, "So eat and drink and be contented".  My heart swells with belief, and I am back on the staircase weeping.  Allah is al-Hayy, the Living, I am not alone in this undertaking.  The kitchen can wait, I finish listening to the surah before resuming my work.   I imagine that this is what a soldier feels like before battle, humbled ego, and steadied heart.

After having three labors, there are some individual patterns that can be etched out.  I can now say that not only does my water break before my labors, but that it does so at the beginning of the morning prayer.  It's an odd pattern, but I like it.

I'm lying in bed as my husband is rousing for fajr, when a contraction hits me so hard, I reach out for his arm.  And then with a great release, the soothing warmth of amniotic fluid gushes between my legs, a message from the other side, my babies habitat for the past nine months revealed.  Instantly,  I am shivering and moaning through contractions.  It's odd to be a midwife and a mother in labor.  The contrast between the head and the heart is somehow clearer.  I'm noting from a distant place, that I am in transition, right now.  I tell my husband to call the midwife, but tell her not to come, the heart is wanting privacy.  I am playing that mind game that mothers in labor play.  We tell ourselves that this is only the beginning in order to have mental stamina for the end, and in some ways, labor really is only the beginning.

The morning prayers are said, and we are descending the staircase so these moans of "Ooooopppppeeennn" do not wake the sleeping children.  By the time we make it to our living room, the birth room, I am nauseous and hot.  I want a wet washcloth, and a woman's knowing touch.  My beloved midwife lives less than a mile away.  "Call her", I tell my devoted husband who is fumbling with the birth tub pump.  She answers and says, I'm already on my way, did we think she was waiting for another call?  Oh midwives, the good ones capture that difficult place between knowing and unknowing with such skill and wit.

I am sending each contraction into circles of movement, from hips to cervix.  I can't imagine not circling my hips. "Ya Latif", O Gentle One, I mutter weaving this sentiment into these circles.  I am connected to my Muslim sisters from Afghanistan to Senegal, who have uttered this Divine name through their contractions for centuries.  They become my companions through these giant, urgent waves.  I can do this too.

The birth tub is inflated, but dry, as I am feeling the first urges to push.  There is no time to fill it.  I have never done this without the tub and I am nervous.   How do I push outside of the tub?   The answer soon becomes clear, you just do.  Twenty minutes later, my nine pound baby boy is born.  We have named him Ya Sin, a name without direct meaning, yet fraught with Divine mysteries and meanings.  It is what I felt throughout this pregnancy, and the earliest twinges of  labor, a knowing beneath the surface, that if trusted and sought, will open up worlds of understanding.  May Allah bless him, and all babies and mothers everywhere. Our children truly are here to teach us, from their conception, to adulthood.  I am grateful to learn.

Post Note: We wanted to say a special thank you to our other stellar midwife Lael, who not only made the birth hours before leaving on vacation, but brought us a dozen eggs from her chicken to nourish us and continue the cycle.

The Prophet Muhammad as a Baby

Photo Credit

In honor of the Islamic lunar month of Shaban, traditionally touted as the month of the Prophet (peace be upon him), I am sharing some really sweet notes on the development of the Prophet Muhammad as a baby.   These notes are from a class I attended about six months ago with  Ustadha Eiman Sidky.  I wish I could find the book from which she took these pearls, but alas, my notes are lacking the text. If anyone knows, please leave it in the comments, so I can add it! They detail his development from turning over to talking, and as always he was exemplary and above the curve.  I love thinking of his blessed babyhood, and how he was as an infant.  Enjoy!

• At two months of age he was rolling over already.
• By four months he was cruising, as in cruising along tables, and other furniture to move from one place to another.
• He was walking at five months. Can you imagine!?
• At nine months he was speaking Fus'ha, the elegant and elevated form of Classical Arabic. It is the form that the Qur'an was revealed in. 
• At ten months, he was able to accurately shoot a bow and arrow, a sign of his piercing intelligence and unwavering focus. May Allah bless him!!
• And always, before he touched anything, even as an infant, he would utter a 'Bismillah"

Enjoy this month, may it bring you closer to the Prophet and prepare your heart for Ramadan!  Remember all the babies of the ummah in your du'a!

Frankincense during Pregnancy

Photo Credit

Lately, I have been amazed at the healing power of essential oils. I've had them in my herbal repertoire for awhile, but rarely thought of them as healing, more just as something that smells nice when you are sick, or gives my cleaning products extra oomph. A friend introduced me to DoTerra, a line of Certified Therapeutic Grade essential oils, and I have to say, I am sold.  The lemon really smells like lemon.  A few drops of lavender on my children's feet before bed, and they start slowing their roll!  A whiff of their Whisper blend and I feel oh-so-feminine!


For your pregnancy healing needs, I find them to be exquisitely suited to the overall state of pregnancy.  They are gentle, yet effective on the physical level, but also can work on the subtle emotional states as well. In pregnancy, it seems like everything is absorbed into the emotional or spiritual state of the woman.  The overdue bill, the toddler's regression to thumb sucking, the carpal tunnel, can all seem overwhelming emotionally and physically.  Essential oils can really address these issues on all levels.

Frankincense has been associated with mothers and babies since the birth of Jesus, when the three wise men brought the newly delivered mother and babe, gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh.  I was then surprised to see this quote (from this book , more on this excellent book in a later post!) by the Prophet Muhammad urging mothers to smell frankincense while expecting:

"Let your women-folk use frankincense when they are pregnant for verily, the child in the womb  will turn out to be a man with a strong heart, and should it be a girl, she will have a beautiful figure and wide hips."

He (peace be upon him) also said that Mary burned it while giving birth:

"The best incense is frankincense. It was the incense used by Mary when she was giving birth. The house in which frankincense is used shall never be approached by an envious person, a sorcerer, a devil, or a witch."

Photo Credit

Because it is an anti-inflammatory and an anti-arthritic, it is also good for many of pregnancy's physical ailments.   A drop or two on sore hips, or any other sore joints can help ease the discomfort associated with the increasing weight of pregnancy.  It is also a good immune system stimulant, so a couple of drops massaged into the bottom of feet can help pick you up when you are feeling run down. Also, it can be good for headaches, which many mothers suffer from, especially in the summer months.

If anything, its scent will calm your nerves and center you. After reading the above quote and smelling the Omani frankincense that DoTerra sells, I'm recommending it for all expecting mothers, and packing it in my birth bag!  Try it for yourself and see how healing this powerful, ancient scent can be.

Reflections of a Midwife in Ramadan

"And comparing the expanse of the world into which a man enters on death is like comparing the spaciousness of the world to the womb; only it is wider and greater"
-Al-Ghazili in The Book of Patience and Thankfulness

It's always a blessing to witness a birth, but as with everything in Ramadan, this blessing becomes manifold. This has been the year of precious Ramadan babies. They've all come with ease and grace, and many lessons to teach their midwife. In the quote above al-Ghazali says that this birth is a simile for the birth we will experience when pulled from our graves. A mother is earth, her flesh a portal transformed for another life. In tears, sweat, and joy she surrenders to life's calling and purpose; a new soul to traverse the earth.

It is an impossible thing birth. Even as I watch mothers over and over again, I am always amazed that this is how human life begins. The act of birth is a great sign from God. What we would logically call impossible, in each moment of labor becomes more and more possible. At first we see a quarter size of the head, with each contraction we see more, but then it too disappears back into the womb. This is the two-steps-forward-one-step-back dance of the second stage. Allah's power manifests itself clearly now as each witness is silently contemplating the possibility of a human emerging from such a small space. Even the mother needs a 'you can do it' at this point. Once we've given up, only then do we move forward.

Soon the prince or princess is crowning, emerging from one consciousness to the next. The attendants watch in wonder as the miracle that is about to occur pauses. With the next contraction the head spirals into Earth's pull. A graceful exhale is warranted. The mother is in awe. The midwife is honored to be of the first to lay hands on the world's newest member. It must be done with intention and clear spirit, for these new beings are impressionable. The shoulders and body emerge and a slippery body is placed on a heaving mothers chest.

The midwife can sit back now and watch from the corner. The room is still and seems to be full of angels, at least two more have just been called to duty. It took so long, yet went so fast. What we were once anticipating for months and months is now here in a matter of moments. The eyes of a child just born reveal all we need to know, aware, watchful, and knowing. As he takes in his surroundings, I wonder how we will take in our surroundings at the next phase of life. Will it be as astonishing and grand? Will there be joy or grief? What I now cannot fathom, a grave, bones, and a resurrection, will it all seem so obvious after the fact? Will I know who I am and will there be familiar souls to accompany me?

I'm not certain and apprehensive of the answers to these questions. But I do know that my perch in the birthing room again and again increases my certainty that creation is continually happening, and as uncertain as a new life after the grave may seem, each birth brings me closer to the fact that for the Creator, it is possible. It is just as possible as young mother stepping into a birth tub by herself, and emerging from it with another life. We dry them off and tuck them into bed. An ordinary miracle on a sunny Ramadan day.

In Celebration of the Birth of the Prophet

It's that time of year again, the celebration of the birth of the Prophet!!This is a reprint with some added goodies (in bold at the end). Hope everyone is enjoying the celebrations, and all the rain! What a mercy.

"And when Aminah was pregnant with him

She did not complain about anything that befalls (pregnant) women

For Gentleness from the Lord of the heavens encompassed her

And Barred from her all harm, worry, and sadness

She saw (in a vision), as was narrated to us

That the Guardian (Allah) was going to Honor the Creation

Through the pure one who was in her womb, so she Rejoiced!

And the time for labor drew near, so she was filled with

pleasure!

And the lights emanated from all directions

For the birth of the one given intercession had arrived

And before dawn, the Sun of Guidance emanated

The Beloved became manifest, honored and protected"

An excerpt from "The Shimmering Light" compiled by the great scholar Habib Umar

Ustadha Eiman Sidky (May Allah protect her) is a treasure house of knowledge and goodness. Her accounts of the life of the Prophet (peace be upon him) are intimate, compelling and fascinating. She teaches a seerah class for women online each Saturday. In honor of the upcoming mawlid, she recently enlightened us on the pregnancy of the Prophet's mother, Aminah, and about some of the secrets of his birth. To think of our blessed Prophet in the womb of his mother and the stellar impact of his birth, is moving and awe inspiring.

• During her pregnancy, Aminah felt a light within her and one day it shone bright enough for her to see the castles of Bostra in Syria. Again before her delivery she also saw this intense light, light all the way to Syria.
  
• Once, while pregnant, Aminah heard a voice say to her, "Thou carriest in thy womb the lord of his people; and when he is born say: 'I place him beneath the protection of the One, from the evil of every envier'; then name him Muhammad"*
  
• When it was time for the labor, Aminah did not feel pains.
• At the time of the birth of the Prophet (peace be upon him) there were no impurities; no blood or other impurities that normally occur at a birth.
• The midwife who delivered the Prophet, Shifa'a, was the mother of 'Abd ar-Rahman ibn 'Awf (May Allah be pleased with them both).
• The night of the mawlid Shifa'a was sleeping, dreaming of a full moon that was about to fall into her lap. She was awakened from the dream by a knocking on the door, it was some one sent to bring her to Aminah so that she could help with the birth of the world's last prophet.
• When the Prophet was born, he was born in sajdaah. Shifa'a said that he smelled of musk and was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen. She knew that this baby would become something grand.
• When he was laid on the bed, he clutched his blessed little, newborn fingers into fists, all but the index finger of his right hand. La ilaha ila Allah from the time of his birth!
• Every animal in talked on day of birth - they said she is carrying rasool allah and he is lord of ka'aba
• Every bed belonging to a king was flipped upside down
• All of the statues were upside down, a sign that the worship of One God would reign
• The year of his blessed birth was a year of opening, year of happiness. It was very green, as there was lots of food and rain, after years of drought
  
  
  

*Exact wording taken from "Muhammad: His Life Based on the Earliest Sources" by Martin Lings

Dua (Supplications) for Pregnancy, Labor and Conception

This has been going around lately, but I thought some of you might benefit. Unfortunately, I'm not sure who put it together so I can't give credit where it's due. For those of you who don't know the Arabic terms, apologies! I should probably put a glossary on here somewhere, but for now if you have any questions just ask. Enjoy!


Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem



Here is a brief list of various things that we were told to recite and do during pregnancy and labour.



Please pass it on for anyone who you feel may benefit from it.








Daily

- Surah Inshiqaq (Surah 84) – to be recited daily throughout the pregnancy

- Surah Luqman (Surah 31) – to be recited daily during the 1st trimester when the baby’s brain, mental faculties and nervous system are developing

- Surah Yusuf (Surah 12) – to be recited in the 2nd trimester when the child’s physical appearance is forming

- Surah Maryam (Surah 19) – to be recited in the 3rd trimester as labour approaches

- “Ya Lateef” – to be recited 129 times every morning and evening









7th month only

- The husband should recite Surah Inshirah (Surah 94) 152 times on the baby









Labour

- The first ayat of Surah al-Fath’ (Surah 48)

- “Ya Lateef”

- Surah Maryam (Surah 19)

- Surah Inshirah (Surah 94)

- “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”









General advice

- Shaykh Muhammad Ba Shu’ayb once advised, for the sake of any children we are to have to recite all our adhkar and awrad everyday and to ensure that we pray as many prayers in congregation with our spouse.

- Read as much Quran as possible.

- Try and do as much salawat on the Prophet (saw) as possible – in particular Salat al-Tunjina’ and “As salaam Alaikum ayuha-nabee wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu”

- As babies are said to be able to recognise certain sounds and music from their time in the womb, reading certain texts such as the “Book of Assistance” by Imam al-Haddad, is advised in order to bring about recognition.

- One of the Habaib advised pregnant women to look at pictures of the Ka’aba when she was too tired to actively engage in ibada.









For those trying to conceive children

Habib Umar has recommended…

- Recite Surah Fatiha (Surah 1) 41 times in between the sunnah and fard of Fajr prayer.

- Recite verse 38 of Surah Imran (Surah 3) as many times a day as possible.

Hakima Midwifery at Eco-Fair

Tomorrow, November 6, from 11-4, the MCA in Santa Clara, California is hosting it's annual Eco Fair. I'm going to have a booth there with lots of giveaways, including Erba Organics mom and baby body care products. I think I might even have some chocolate to give out too. So, come and say salaam, there will be children's activities, a mini farmer's market, demonstrations, a book and hijab exchange, and more. Come and support the Muslim Green Team!

The Womb and Mercy

Some of my Ramadan reading has entailed the above, The Tao of Islam by Sachiko Murata. It is only through the materially deprived yet,spiritual uplifting state of fasting, that I can even hope to make sense of most of this book. She uses the Taoist formulation of yin and yang as a lens to look at Islam's theology around gender relations. It's fascinating. She has a most amazing chapter entitled, "The Womb." One of Allah's 99 names, ar-Rahman, or the Most Merciful one is closely related to the word for 'womb' in Arabic. There is so much depth and reflection on that alone, but for one more qualified than I! I wish to leave you with a few quotes relating ,of course to pregnancy, birth and mothers, all of which can be a wide opening into understanding the nature of the One who created.




There are four main sayings by the Prophet Muhammad, called hadith in Arabic, regarding the womb, which Murata uses towards the end of the chapter to exemplify the relationship between the nature of women, and Allah's Mercy. One of these that I particularly like is:

"God said, 'I am God and I am the All-merciful. I created the womb and gave it a name derived from My own name. Hence, if someone cuts off the womb, I will cut him off, but if someone joins the womb, I will join him to Me'"

The following passage on the station of mothers, was aid by Ali ibn al-Husayn, the grandson of the Prophet Muhammad.

"The right of your mother is that you know that she carried you where no one carries anyone, she gave to you of the fruit of her heart that which no one gives to anyone, and she protected you with all of her organs. She did not care if she went hungry as along as you ate, if she was thirsty as long as you drank, if she was naked as long as you were clothed, if she was in the sun as long as you were in the shade. She gave up sleep for your sake, she protected you from heat and cold, in order that you might belong to her. You will not be able to show her gratitude, unless through God's help and giving success." (pg 213)

In reflecting on gestation and birth and how it relates to the grave and death, and the life after this, Sachiko Murata writes:

"Human beings develop in the womb in a manner that parallels the order followed by God in creating the macrocosm. In the womb the infant grows to completion and reaches deliverance by dying to the womb in order to be born into the world. In the world the human being grows to spiritual perfection and reaches deliverance through death to this world and birth into the next."

In keeping in this vein of reflecting on birth in this life with birth in the next, Murata quotes a Rumi poem. Here, he is comparing pregnancy and birth to a death, and encouraging us to live by the quote of Ali to "Die before you die", this of course, referring to the death of the ego. Like labor, this is an incredible challenge on all levels.

"Although the mother suffers the pain of childbirth, the embryo breaks out of prison.

The woman weeps at the birth: "Where is the refuge?" The child laughs: "Deliverance has come!"

Until mothers feel the pain of childbirth, the child finds no way to be born.

The Trust is within the heart and the heart is pregnant: all the exhortations of the saints act as a midwife.

The midwife says, "The woman has no pain. Pain is necessary, for it will open a way for the child."

I hope these quotes inspire you in these waning days of Ramadan. Please remember me and my family in your prayers!

Born into Ramadan

"Metabolically and internally, Ramadan knocks the stuffing out of us. Like all the basic practices of our religion, it is an idea as simple as it is shattering. The body and spirit respond at their deepest level. The ego squeals with pain. To the extent that we are still babies, we cry and cry.

There are some elemental human experiences where the body, detecting its limits, transforms the spirit. Making love, famously, is one example. But there are others. Once, walking in the Alps, I passed a lake as blue as cobalt, formed from the meltwater of a glacier which towered over it. No-one was in sight, so I stripped off and ran straight in. The shock of that freezing water around me was staggering, and I could feel my heart straining. Coming out, shivering uncontrollably, I felt like a king. All of life seemed to be shivering around me, and the world seemed to have become strangely sharp and bright.

The experience of being born must be similar. From a comfort zone we experience the pain of delivery, and the outrage of new existence in an external world of bright lights and strange sounds. The baby screams, but its pain is its first experience of true life. Spiritually, it has begun its career.

The fast blasts us, and exhausts us. We feel the laughable flab melting away, and start to remember the important fact that we are alive. Life is a symbiosis between our bodies and the world. We are alive when we feel that interaction and dependency at work."

-RAMADAN TRAVELOGUE No. 1

By Sh. Abdal-Hakim Murad

Please consider donating to the Cambridge Mosque, the first fully eco-friendly mosque in Europe, of which Shaykh Abdal Hakim Murad is a part of.

Photo by The Alpine by kern.justin

Poem - Happy Mother's Day!

Pregnancy_010 by bethykae


Happy Mother's Day to each and every hard working, laughing, loving mother out there. May every day be filled with the recognition and gratitude that mothers deserve! My gift, a Rumi poem (don't be swayed by the title, there is a moving reference to mothers). Also, head over to Seeker's Guidance for a wonderful poem by Baraka Blue, "To Mothers". Enjoy!


Joseph in Prison

Joseph in prison asked a fellow prisoner,
"When you leave here, your affairs will prosper
with the king. Please mention me to him
and try to obtain my release."

One prisoner cannot free another prisoner,
and except for rare cases, every human being
is a prisoner, waiting.

Joseph asked a low, prickly shrub
like camels graze on, for help,
and he was punished for it.

The prisoner forgot Joseph's name completely,
and Joseph spent several more years confined.

In bright sunlight, don't ask a bat for directions.
If you're an ocean storm, don't look to heat-mirages
and sand for assistance. Dont' make a brace
from rotten wood.

God punished Joseph, or seemed to.
Actually He totally absorbed him
in such an intimate joy that
the dungeon disappeared.

There's no more restricted place
than the bloodwalls of the womb,
yet in there God opens a window
into the Presence, and your senses grow.

They blossom out of the body.
The delight is so profound in the womb
that you never want to leave.

You pull towards your mother's spine,
and away from the labia door.


The way of spiritual treasure is inward.
Don't look for it outside in property or wealth.
Setting means nothing. One man sits ecstatically
in a bare stone nook. Another is sad
in a beautiful rose garden.

At the wine-feast the drunkard
is most happy when he passes out.

Look at his smile. Be a ruin.
This body-house is full of imagery
Demolish it. Those fantasy art-works
keep you from union.

But the beauty of the pictures
comes from the radiance of the soul!

That light-filled water produces
the bubbles that obscure its surface.

That which blocks us from seeing
is from a deep vision-source inside.

Let your bats fly into that sun
and lose their batness!

(Mathnawi, VI, 3400-3431)

First Birth in Medina - Abd Allah ibn al-Zubayr

Masjid-An-Nabawi #17 by Huda M Elmatasani

Asma bint Abi Bakr, sister of Ayesha (May Allah be pleased with them both), made the Hijra while pregnant. During her hijra, there was a rumor spread that any Muslim baby born in Mecca, would be slain. Imagine, not only fleeing for your life, but fleeing for the unborn life within you.

SubhanAllah, Asma must have been a very strong and courageous woman. She was also the one to bring food and water to her father, Abu Bakr (May Allah be pleased with him) and the Prophet (peace be upon him), while they were hiding in the cave. This was no small physical feat, and took a bravery I'm not sure many of us possess.

Then, to make hijra, a long and arduous journey while pregnant, also took an incredible amount of prowess and determination. Let this be an inspiration to those of us who are pregnant (or not pregnant, for that matter) next time we make an excuse for not exercising. May we be inspired and prodded by the strength of Asma!

Asma made the emigration safely, and not long after began to feel the pangs of labor. It must have been a relief to feel them in a place where she knew that she and her baby were safe and protected, and where the blessing of the Prophet's presence must have been palpable. Soon, her son was in her hands, the first son of Medina, Abd Allah ibn Zubayr (May Allah be pleased with him). He was the first Muslim baby to be born in Medina. Both the Emigrants to the city of Medina, and those Muslims of Medina who generously welcomed them, celebrated this birth with enthusiasm.

It was a sign of hope, the next generation of Muslims born in Medina, the newly adopted home of the community. Abd Allah was brought to the Prophet, who took a bite of a date, then removed it from his blessed mouth, and rubbed it over the baby's gums, all the while making lots of du'a for this child. The people of Medina paraded him through the streets, and it is said, made a sort of tawaaf of the streets of Medina with him! What joy and happiness babies bring!

JazakAllah khair to Ustadha Eiman and those who make her Saturday morning class possible for giving us the splendid details of this event!

From War to the Womb

This is an excerpt from a new film out about my favorite midwifery organization's efforts to bring Palestine and Israeli midwives together. It's unbelievable to think that a Palestinian woman has to wait 3-4 hours to reach her midwife because of checkpoints. I wonder why there are not more home births that happen there. I've blogged about these efforts before, but I think this clip is comprehensive in detailing the problems of the two countries midwives, how they are similar and how they differ.


COHI Coexistence Project
Uploaded by aldermanjessica. - Have a look at more lifestyle videos.


In other midwifery inspirations, I wanted to include this quote that was recently posted at the Citizens for Midwifery blog. I think it is a testament to the beauty of midwifery care, home birth, etc... Shouldn't we be striving for this beauty in our lives, even in birth?



While shopping [one] day, I noticed hand-dipped chocolates, homegrown vegetables, hand-spun wool, homemade preserves, cottage-industry soaps—all at premium prices, since they were made with care, individually, by hand, at home. I reflected, too, on how "old-fashioned" doctors, famous for house calls and compassion, are remembered fondly as part of the "good old days" and praised for their one-on-one caring. I mused how our society honors unique, special, one-of-a-kind items and services.

Yet when it comes to maternity care, it seems the bigger and busier, the better: high-tech procedures, standardized treatment, massive patient loads, in-and-out, assembly-line-style facilities. We are urged to leave the clean peace and quiet of home and go, instead, to a large, centralized center and entrust ourselves to a system of detached and often distracted institutional workers whom we've never met and may never see again. I find it hard to believe that anyone would consider hospital care preferable, if they really thought about it.

High-tech or hands-on? The choice is not new. In many cases, of course, mechanical and technological advances have been just that: improvements. Other advances, as we all know too well, have resulted in lasting harm.

— Judy Edmunds, excerpted from "A Grand Triumph," Midwifery Today Issue 37

The Immense Ocean

"All who are in the heavens and upon earth ask of Him
Every day He is in some task."
Quran (55:29)

This is a tafsir on the 54th hizb of the Qur'an from the great Moroccan scholar, Ahmad ibn 'Ajiba. It is a wonderful translation of a work rarely available in English. It's available here. Last night I was struck by the commentary on the above verses. Here is the commentary:

"Concerning this verse, I heard our Shaykh, Sidi al-Tawudi Ben Suda, may God have mercy upon him, say, " Among His tasks is to make ready, every day, three multitudes [of souls]: those which enter the wombs, those which are born into the world, and those which enter the graves."


I like this reassurance. For those of you trying to conceive, for those of you waiting to deliver, and for all of us waiting to enter the graves, this presents a solace and a guidance, that this is not our tasks, that Allah will bring manifest these destinies in His time. What do we then need Pitocin for? With Allah's Mercy and Help, babies will be born when He makes their souls ready.

Poem & The Sunnas of a Newborn Child

Baby Song

From the private ease of Mother's womb
I fall into the lighted room.

Why don't they simply put me back
Where it is warm and wet and black?

But one thing follows on another.
Things were different inside Mother.

Padded and jolly I would ride
The perfect comfort of her inside.

They tuck me in a rustling bed
-I lie there, raging, small, and red.

I may sleep soon, I may forget,
But I won't forget that I regret.

A rain of blood poured round her womb,
But all time roars outside this room.

-Thom Gunn (1929- )

What an amusing poem! I love how the baby wants to go back inside. It seems like that sometimes doesn't it! Here are some links about babies:

• There is a new website containing lectures by Shaykh Nuh Ha Mim Keller's esteemed wife Umm Sahl. Particularly pertinent to this blog is Lecture 5.1, the sunnas of a newborn child. It's wonderful and thought provoking. To hear this lecture and others visit www.raisingmuslimchildren.com.

• "Do Toxins Cause Autism?" a recent op-ed by New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristoff looks at the recent studies linking our chemical exposures to increasing rates of autism in children. He briefly discusses the new bill proposed in the Senate that strengthens the Toxic Substances Control Act. Apparently of the 80,000 chemicals in our environment the EPA only tests 200! Kristof's last paragraph contains excellent advice for pregnant women and parents. "The precautionary principle suggests that we should be wary of personal products like fragrances unless they are marked phthalate-free. And it makes sense — particularly for children and pregnant women — to avoid most plastics marked at the bottom as 3, 6 and 7 because they are the ones associated with potentially harmful toxins."

Birth Story - Muhammad Idris Cong Tu

Our first birth story comes from a dear friend. It's an excellent story. I like how she clearly experiences the sensations of the contractions and really opens herself up to them. Not to say that contractions don't hurt, but resisting them only increases the pain. This story is a good example of surrendering to the contractions as they are. You can read more about her here. Stay tuned for an upcoming interview about her work entitled, "Sunna of Birth. Enjoy!

Peace & Blessings,

I was blessed to have a beautiful home/water birth on September 18, 2009.

This was a very special day for my family because it was the last Friday in our holy month, Ramadaan, and just two days before our day of celebration, Eid ul-Fitr. The last 10 days of Ramadaan are very sacred for us and Fridays are also special because they are the holy day of the week when we attend the Mosque and pray with our community. My friend Shoshanna baked Challah bread for us on that day also, on the day of my daughter's birth in 2007 she brought me fresh squeezed grapefruit juice while I was in labor, and on our son's birthday she brought us the special bread and shared that it was also the Jewish holiday, Rosh Hoshanna, which is the day of the "Birth of the World" and the bread symbolized the world. Praise our Creator, what a blessed and perfect day to give birth and to be born!

On Thursday evening a bit of my mucous plug released when I used the restroom. I texted Racha & Maura to give them a heads up...and than my Husband, Daughter, and I went on a short evening walk. I didn't necessarily expect too much, as I've learned as a Doula and Midwife Apprentice never to expect anything in birth, except the unexpected. When we returned I took a shower, relaxed, and put my daughter down to sleep. Because it was Ramadaan, and my husband was fasting during the days, he had a lot of energy at night, and we used this time to bond and do extra praying and reading of our spiritual text, the Qu'ran. That night we were up at 4am when I began feeling contractions. I joined my husband for the pre-fast meal and we waited until 5:30 to pray the dawn prayer. I was anxious to get some rest realizing that my contractions were only going to get stronger, especially because in the one-and-a-half hour I was up I had at least 5 to 7 strong contractions.

When we finally went to bed after 5:30am, I lay down, only to realize within 30minutes that I wouldn't be able to sleep because the contractions were already pretty strong. Between 6am and 8am I labored alone in our family room so I wouldn't wake my husband and toddler. By 8am I realized I should call Racha and let her know that my labor was pretty intense already. As a Doula & Midwife Apprentice I never wanted to call my midwives in the middle of the night, which is usually how we are called, I guess its a little courtesy, but by 8am I couldn't really wait any longer! I'm glad I called Racha because she suggested I wake up my husband and have him set up the birthtub. I really wanted to let him sleep until 10am because I knew once he woke we would be in full labor mode, good thing I listened to Racha, because by 10:12 am our baby boy was already born!

When I woke up my husband, my daughter also woke up, and when I told her the baby was coming she replied grumpily, "Don't come out baby, stay in there!," because she still wanted to sleep. Daoud went straight to work setting up the tub in the corner of our kitchen, it was really beautiful because we have some nice house plants and spiritual art in that corner of the kitchen, he also made a tent by staple-gunning some pretty sheets into the ceiling around the tent creating walls and a little room for me. I decided he was the best husband in the world and I tried to tell him, but was having a contraction and told him to "Go away, please," instead! During the hour or so it took my husband to set up my sacred birth space my contractions became very intense, lasting a minute-and-half to two minutes and coming on at least every 2-3 minutes. I labored on my hands and knees feeling a sharp opening of the last bit of dilating of my cervix and shaking with contractions, as Sumaiya, my two year old, played "horsey" on my back...

By 9:30am I managed to text Maura and Racha, "I think you should come soon", and I made my way to the tub getting in to the hot water. Daoud put on a recording of Surah Maryam, the chapter in the Qu'ran where Maryam gives birth to the Prophet Isa (Jesus). Its a beautiful Surah, my favorite in the Qu'ran, and I listen to it and read it often during my pregnancies because of the blessings it holds especially for Mothers and babies. As I relaxed in the tub, letting my body go to the support of the water as the last few contractions made powerful waves through me.

Racha and Maura arrived by 9:48am, and during the time my husband went to the front of our building to open the door and return with them, I followed my body in its urges to bear down with my contractions. When they came into our home I was already beginning to push. They came into my birth tent quietly, bringing some green water for me to sip on. I couldn't believe I was already pushing and didn't feel like I was ready since everything happened so fast! Racha had to help me get my underwear off because the baby was coming down pretty fast once the midwives got there and I felt I was just gonna go for it. With the next push Racha said she could see the head, it felt very close and I somehow communicated that she should let Daoud know that the baby would be here any minute. Daoud and Sumaiya came in, and Sumaiya really wanted to get in the tub with me when she saw that the baby was already coming out, she stripped off her clothes, but Daoud managed to keep her out of the water! With the next push the baby was crowning, Racha asked Daoud if he wanted to catch, and even though he did, I said no, because I wanted to catch him because I felt very relaxed and focused and in a really connected rhythm with the baby. I always feel that a mother should be able to be the first to receive her child when possible, to welcome her baby with her own hands! Within two contractions the baby crowned and his head was out, still in the water-bag, which midwives call being born in the Caul, and many say it is a very sacred event. I had to gather myself and blow because the energy and pressure was so strong and I didn't want to do it all at once. I grounded myself and gathered energy for the next contraction, blowing and breathing because I knew he would be fully into the world with the next contraction and push. I could feel his body fully rotate within me and followed the contraction and his bodies movement to push him out and kinda ride the last wave.

Our little Muhammad, named after our Prophet (Peace & Blessings be upon Him), was born at 10:12am, just 6 hours after I felt the first contractions of active labor. Most importantly, I thank Allah for the blessed gift of our new son, Muhammad, AllahuAkbar! AllahuAkbar! AllahuAkbar!

The Wife of Umar ibn al-Khattab

Abaya Mama by the Humanette

I have always wondered about the women during the earliest generations of Muslims. How they dressed, how they cooked, how they educated their children. And, I have always wondered who took care of them during their pregnancies and deliveries. Coming across this paragraph below, I was fascinated to see that the wife of Umar ibn al-Khattab (May Allah's Mercy be upon them both) was a midwife! Can you imagine having her deliver your baby, perhaps with Umar patiently waiting outside? What a blessing that would be. I love the reminder of Umar's scrupulousness and love of the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the paragraph below. You can read the entire description here.

He was a very pious Muslim. His success lay in two things-fear of Allah and his love for the Holy Prophet (Sallallahu 'alaihi wa Sallam). He never used even oil from the Bait-ul-Mal (Public Treasury) to burn a lamp at night for his personal needs. Whenever he finished the official work he put off the lamp. He used to patrol in the city at night to find out the needs and requirements, and conditions of the people. He did not hesitate to take his wife to work as a midwife for a poor woman. The salary he got from the Bait-ul-Mal was so low that it was hardly enough for him and his family's needs. When some of the eminent Muslims requested him to increase the amount he, said, "The Holy Prophet (Sallallahu 'alaihi wa Sallam) has left a standard by his personal example. I must follow him".

Eating and Drinking in Labor

Fresh Dates by jemasmith

Then labor pains impelled her to the trunk of a palm tree. She said, "Would that I had died before this and been completely forgotten." Then he called to her from below, saying, "Do not grieve; your Lord has put a stream beneath you and shake the trunk of the palm toward you to let fresh ripe dates fall by you. Then eat and drink and be of good cheer: but if you see any man say, 'I have dedicated a fast to the Benevolent One so I shall not talk to any human being today.'"

(Qu'ran 19:23-26)

This is from the Qur'anic chapter entitled Maryam, and it is detailing the birth of 'Isa (peace be upon him). Allah is directing her to eat and drink during labor. A woman's first labor can be the caloric equivalent of swimming nine miles, why wouldn't one eat or drink to maintain their stamina? Allah is Wise.

In the majority of today's maternity wards however, women are not allowed to eat or drink during active labor. Ice chips are given out, but not much else. The logic behind this is to keep the stomach empty in case an emergency arises which may require the woman to undergo general anesthesia. Having any food in the stomach while undergoing general anesthesia can increase the risk of aspiration, a potentially life threatening situation.

In an out of hospital situation it is generally accepted that depriving a woman and her hardworking muscle, the uterus, of food and drink during labor can lead to a state of starvation, called ketosis, in the mother. This can prolong her labor, make her uterus ineffective, and possibly affect the reserves of her baby as well. In my practice, I give a list of beneficial and recommended food and drink to my clients during a prenatal visit in their last month. Broths, popsicles, honey, dates, yogurts, easy to digest foods are all encouraged. Labor is hard work and incredibly physical, we need to replenish our bodies as we labor.

And now it looks like modern obstetrics is concluding with the divine advice revealed to Maryam and with what midwives believe, that there is no justification for the restriction of fluids and food in labour for women at low risk of complication. A recent Cochrane review found no compelling reason to uphold the ban on food and drink in low risk women during labor. In a NYT article, summing up the study, one obstetrician illustrates the lack of logic behind the ban, “My own view of this has always been that you could say one shouldn’t eat or drink anything before getting into a car on the same basis, because you could be in an automobile accident and you might require general anesthesia,” said Dr. Marcie Richardson, an obstetrician and gynecologist at Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates in Boston, who was not connected to the new study.

While we don't need modern science to prove the Qur'an, it is always harmonious when it does. "Do not grieve" Allah says to Maryam before He tells her to eat and drink. I imagine her comfort at finding a gurgling, cool spring beneath her; of refreshing her mouth dry from breathing with her contractions. And, of her hearing the reassuring thud of dates falling on the ground as she shakes the palm tree towards her. Soon a great prophet is to be born, and Allah is telling her, 'eat, drink, and be of good cheer'. The world was forever changed. Gentle, encouraging words from the One who has designed perfectly how we birth our babies.

Welcome to Hakima Midwifery!!

Pregnancy B&W portrait by Taqu

A salaam u alaikum and welcome to the Hakima Midwifery blog! I am a Licensed Midwife in Oakland, California. I have noticed that within the Muslim community there is interest in out of hospital birth, but there is also hesitancy and a skepticism. Through this blog I hope to show not only the safety of out of hospital birth, but also the desirability of it. I have been blessed to have my own home birth, and to attend Muslims at home as well as in a freestanding birth center. I believe we have a large body of wisdom amongst us and it is my hope that this forum can be a resource for collecting and building upon that. There is a resonance between the sacredness of a birth and Islam, a tradition wherein even the most mundane is elevated to the sacred. I believe that the sanctity of a new life is often best preserved at home with little intervention. It is in this setting, with the mother in her own comfortable surroundings, monitored by trained midwives, allowed to move freely, and eat or drink, that the amazing expression of Allah's attributes through birth can be recognized. Birth stories from Muslimahs, interviews with Muslim doulas, midwives, childbirth educators and scholars, relevant articles and informative posts on pregnancy, birth and breast feeding will all be included. Insha'Allah this can be of benefit to the families of this ummah. Stay tuned and please feel free to contact me with any questions or with your own birth stories. You can find out more information about me and my midwifery practice at www.hakimamidwifery.com Blessings!